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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband not drunk and abusive Xmas eve....now what

3 replies

whatisforteamum · 29/12/2017 16:28

I posted on AIBU saying im working all December loads of hours and dh is mainly off using up holidays and two weeks off for Xmas.
Tbf he has been doing more chores much as I did when he worked lots and I was part time with Dcs.I was dreading working Xmas day as it is my first since df died in the autumn.
Boss didn't do a rota until this week so when I heard I had Xmas eve off I asked dh to spend it with ms.
I work all week ends and e es so thought this would be OK.Very busy day. Came home he was out.....few pints with his mates.DS was going to have steak meal with him...waited waited he appeared clearly drunk.when I asked him shy he went out he said I could fuck off if I didn't like it.
I admit I followed him upstairs where he glared at me and called me a bitch.Said life didn't revolve around me.
Then he said me and......son could fucking live together.This is because we work in similar trade and often come home late at night and chat while we eat.we are close.he has. O relationship with D's to speak of.I we t to local. Church to see midnight mass I'm not religious but often think of df there as it is very close to home.Xmas day I worked. Visited DM then dh said he. Oulxnt remember what he said.
Now he has gone to d d s as agreed.I asked if he could to for less than six days as chores animals will need doing he said he needed a holiday.He wouldn't compromise.His mates suggested golf so he went there too.I'm still doing 14 hour days and reeling from DM Scattering dcs ashes and putting a pic on fb of the local landmark she did it at.
Please advise I'm exhausted by it all and to many hours.worked.we be been together 31 years NYE.

OP posts:
whatisforteamum · 29/12/2017 17:15

GOT

OP posts:
whatisforteamum · 29/12/2017 19:03

Do I put this down to a drunken episode or decide this is the end of the road.I said things were looking bad recently.with little.support however many lovely MNERS said not.to do anything while grieving for DF.

OP posts:
Rainbowmother · 29/12/2017 19:12

I don't have much advice but I agree with just pausing here and not doing anything. Everything sounds like it's swirling around you and Christmas, as lovely as it is, can bring up different emotions and things not yet grieved for.

I'm really sorry you're going through this . I would quietly see how January is.

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