How do you stop loving someone?

[amammabear]

I'm sorry but this is going to sound incredibly stupid...

I became really really good friends with someone earlier this year and in September we tentatively started a relationship. I will be honest and say that while I'd been holding back my feelings for him until then, when I opened the floodgates. We fell for each other so so hard. But not long after, his ex decided that she wanted him back. He admitted that while he loved me and believed we'd be happy together that he was taking the easy route in going back to get despite not trusting her in a lot of ways.

After a really hard couple of weeks we decided to stay friends, but despite her not knowing that we had ever had more than a friendship his gf was very jealous and forced him to cut off all contact with me.

I feel like I've not only lost everything from the relationship, but also the best friend I ever had and it hurts so much. It's months later and I still feel the same way. I'm really struggling to cope with how I feel about him and how lonely I am without him in my life.

Can anyone give me any advice?

I'm a single mum of three, divorced my ex last year and to be honest the feelings I have for C completely eclipse anything I ever felt for my ex.

More time. I know that won't be the answer you want to hear.

Don't indulge thoughts of what-if, or memories of happy times. If one pops into your head just gently push it away.

No contact is already in place but don't look at social media etc.

You say you're lonely - can you put time into meeting new people, reconnecting with old friends, or just working on a project which makes you happy?

The first relationship after a divorce can be intense and the break up even worse.

Take it slow and be kind to yourself - there's no deadline for getting over someone. Equally, lingering emotions don't mean it was "meant to be". You'll get there.

Join us on the NC thread - quite a few of us going through it for various different reasons, common theme there is keep busy, avoid all contact and ty to value yourself more as a person. We’re all at different stages and all coping on various dieting ways but we all have one hung in common - we’re finding it very difficult! Helps not feeling like you are the only person going through it

Focus your mind on moving on and positive things for you. Shortly after your emotions should follow. In theory. After all your brain controls your emotions too ... :)

Thank you so much for replying xxx

I have friends and I'm trying to keep busy, but I just can't help these thoughts, I do try to push them away.

Chestnuts, do you have a link?