About this Instagram account?

[MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose]

Hello all,

Long time lurker, need a bit of perspective from my fave vipers.

My DP and I have fallen out over the festive period as I found he was following and liking 'sexy' Instagram accounts and pictures of other women. I admit I snooped a bit and looked at the ladies he follows from my own account and was gutted that they were all so young and thin. I confronted him about this and said I found it disappointing as he generally talks down about partners looking at other people whilst they're In a committed relationship. we talked it over.

I haven't looked at his account in a while as I decided to leave it after that but last night curiosity got the better of me and I searched for him. He has followed loads more accounts and switched his own to 'private'

Am I being unreasonable tonne brimming over with suspicion now? He says he made it private as he felt I was violating his privacy and now I feel like a controlling cow :/

If my fiancé was looking at other women in a sexual manner no matter what age and size they were I would be cross. It must be bad for your self esteem. Why is he looking at them?

Riiiiigght. He doesn't at all feel his privacy is violated. He got caught smashing through his own stated boundaries. People who make a lot of comments judging certain behaviours often seem to be get caught doing the thing. They don't like it because they KNOW they mean in a disloyal and cheating fashion.
Maybe wash your hands. It's all rather grubby.

Sonas not to drip feed we don't have sex that often (I have terrible hormonal probs and have virtually no libido bc of it) so I guess this is his outlet. I can't be angry about that as that really would be controlling. I just feel sad. I don't want him to feel stuck in a sexless relationship as he has needs and I get that, I just wish it wasn't these sexy models and cam girls online as it feels really sleazy. But then that's better than him having an affair and using escorts isn't it? Aargh.

I guess only you know what your boundaries are.
Many people wouldn't be that bothered and many people would be very bothered.
It's just individual

And it depends on what you have discussed. and if you haven't, then do it now.

I would divorce my H for following "cam girls"

That's a level of interaction that is often a gateway to further participation in the sex industry.

If he's liking cam girls pic and following their insta accounts I'd check if he's on twitter, Snapchat etc.

He's trying to keep you out, it's making you feel insecure and he clearly isn't respecting your feelings on this.

Snoop away!

He's also changed the code to his phone. Maybe I am just being insecure but I feel the lack of sex means he gets a 'get out jail free' card for this stuff, iyswim, even if it makes me feel like crap. Neither of us really talk about the lack of sex anymore as when I talk to him nothing changes.

There is no such "card"

You are either ok being in a relationship with a bloke who secretly engages with the sex industry or not.

There are other ways he can fulfil his "needs" (btw, his bollocks will not explode) without lowering himself to such sleazy behaviour.

I'm not ok about the sleaziness of it, it's also thrown out my idea of who I thought he was and who he said he was.

The stupid Instagram is just the icing on the dysfunctional cake really but I don't know how to leave.

Anyfucker cam girls would be a deal breaker for me too

I wouldn’t like this at all either. Finding a celebrity sex is fine, we all do it. But to like pics of cam girls is a step too far. Are you sure he isn’t watching these girls do cam shows and paying them for it? How would you feel about that? Porn is a little different as not so interactive, but I appreciate some people don’t like it either for a whole host of reasons

He says he just follows based on how 'artistic' the shots are and doesn't always read the bio so apparently he didn't know some of them were cam girls

That sounds like a lie to me

He says he just follows based on how 'artistic' the shots are and doesn't always read the bio so apparently he didn't know some of them were cam girls

And I'm the Dalai Lama 😳

The problem seems to me to be the sexlessness in your relationship- not that this gives him permission to look at sexy pictures but he probably thinks it does.

Is there any way you can pep up your sex life or has the relationship died for you? So you can't see a way to do that?

He's often grumpy and miserable and doesn't take any care of himself physically, it's probably shallow of me but I find it hard to be sexually attracted to someone who's angry all the time and barely brushes their teeth!!

seriously, what's keeping you with him? That's a genuine question, why are you finding it difficult to leave?

He sounds yuk. Time for you to stop bothering what hes looking at and look after yourself.

He can be very funny and considerate, but tbh it's rarer than the other times. I had very low self esteem when we got together but by the time I clawed my sense of self back I was locked into a joint tenancy.

I couldn't bring myself to fuck a bloke like this, and neither should you have to

Never mind "pep up your sex life" with this cliched grubby pornhound, make a New Year's resolution to dump his sorry arse