Wedding postponement

[Happyonmyown3]

My partner is wonderful but I want to postpone our wedding next year as I don’t feel ready yet, also I want him to move out as I’m not even ready to live together, I feel so mean, almost feel suicidle 😢

You obviously have good reasons (your gut instinct) for feeling like this. No marriage stands a chance if you start off like this. You have to be honest, and tell him. Anything else is cowardly and dishonest. There is nothing wrong with needing more time, or indeed changing your mind at this point. And you must do what is right for you

in 5 years no one will remember
Honestly . Good luck

Thank you for your support

Don't marry him stand your ground if you don't feel ready ask him
To
Move out
Maybe have a
Break he
Might not be the one !

I would suggest going to relate together so you can clearly explain yourself and your reasons.

I think you have to accept that he is going to be very hurt by this as he is obviously ready to get married etc and you presumably told him you were too by planning the wedding. Whatever happens it’s better than getting married with doubts. And if it’s truely meant to be it will work out.

This is YOU.
This is YOUR life.
If you aren't ready then that is that.
You aren't ready.
Don't do things because you feel you should!
Or because others expect if of you.

I called off a wedding once.
It was not easy.
But I knew I was doing the right thing.
I upset a lot of people.
They soon got over it.

Tell him now you want to cool things down.
You want to take things at your pace.
Your pace means not getting married next year and not living together.

It sounds simple but I know it's not simple.
Please take back control of YOUR life and live it how you want.

Tell him immediately. It really isn’t fair on him or yourself. There'll probably be a part of him that is relieved

Oh wow you have to tell him. You can salvage a relationship you step back from and work on but you can’t salvage something you start out hating. Tell him and work through it together, Relate May well be a good starting point.

Please do postpone. It is the right thing to do. Marriage is brilliant when it's the right people at the right time but it can go desperately wrong. Don't be railroaded.

Thanks everyone
I feel my fiancé kind of took advantage of my situation by staying at mine whilst I was having a bad time with my teenager and then he said he might as well move in, I thought it would be ok as we was getting married next year anyway but it’s not working out, I feel trapped, especially as he gave up his flat and all his stuff and he’s insisted on decorating my house and paid for all the wedding and everything, I feel dreadful as he will be devistated when I tell him.
Btw, we only got together in may this year, it’s been a wirlwind romance 😞

Hi OP
It sounds like he has been pushing you too much too fast,I'm not surprised you feel the way you do.
You're perfectly entitled to your feelings.
Explain to him how you feel and that you would like a break /at least postpone the wedding and for him to find alternative accommodation.
He may well be upset and try to dissuade you but stick to your guns and don't give in.
After you've had some space you'll be in a better position to feel if this relationship is going anywhere.
Good luck

Yeah that's ringing alarm bells. If he really loves you he will be OK with giving you the time and space you need. If he moans and jibes about you expressing your needs then that would suggest he whirlwinded you deliberately because he knew that if you had a moment to catch your breath you might not actually want to dance to his tune.

You are definitely doing the right thing.
There are soooo many red flags in your last post it's quite scary.
Please do ensure you get him to leave asap.
This is not right at all.
He will be devastated but he WILL get over it!

Well done for being brave enough to admit it's a mistake to yourself, let alone to the rest of us!

Gather some real life support if you can, then let him know it's over.

You can't go ahead with it. It does sound like he's been driving this quite forcefully - so if you're worried about telling him, maybe have a chat to Women's Aid first?

You are doing the right thing, sounds like you have been rail roaded into a situation you don't desire.

Thanks for all your advice.
I’ve told him how I feel and he’s decided to leave but of course he is devistated and I feel terrible 😕

You’d feel a lot worse if you married him before telling him to go. You’ve done the right thing.

Please help
My ex fiancé came back in the early hours, says he has no where to stay atm, so I said he can stay here until he finds somewhere but now I feel really uncomfortable about it 😟

Have you told him it makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you have any family/friends who are close by who can come round whilst you tell him to leave?

Please, please remember that this is YOUR home.

I haven’t told him yet as he is sleeping but I will talk to him when he’s awake, I just feel bad as he said he has no where to go and it’s a really bad time of the year to be looking for a new home, the day before New Year’s Eve 🙈

How did his moving in help with the teenager problem? There seems to be a lot of pressure on you. You were brave yesterday - now you've got to be brave again today. Is he in your bed?

He’s up now, I’m going to talk to him

He has no right to stay in your home legally. (google lodger status)

And if he bullied his way into it in the first place, I'd say you don't need to give him any notice morally either!

But if you willingly let him move in, and he gave up his flat, I think it's only fair to give him a week to sort himself out with new accommodation.