I’m so bloody lonely

[HereWeBloodyGoAgain]

And I shouldn’t be. I’m divorced, 2 DS’s 12 & 15. I’ve got a job I adore, and I live in a lovely house that I managed to buy ex out of last summer.
I’ve been divorced for 5 years. My ex husband was a man abusuve functioning alcoholic. Our relationship is fairly cordial now, enough that we don’t argue or anything.
In that time since we split, I’ve had a few relationships, and was very badly hurt by one man. (It was a long distance relationship. We split 18 months ago after I discovered he was cheating on me). I’m currently seeing another man, but I’m planning to end things with him today after (6 months) as it’s more of a friendship than a relationship. He’s admitted to me that he doesn’t ever see us living together, doesn’t want to be a step father figure to my boys, and wouldn’t want to come in on my mortgage with me. So pretty clear cut, and although it’s the right thing to do, I’m dreading it and I’m feeling very anxious over it. (But I realise it has to be done).
I’m so lonely. I’m alone almost every evening, and have been since my divorce. I have wonderful friends, really great supportive close friendships and I’m so lucky to have that. But I’m just so lonely. I don’t really know why I’m posting or what magic answers I want people to give me. I’m generally a very positive person, and I know how lucky I am. Just feeling down I guess.

I’m the same Jelly....my friend is dying to get me on Tinder but I just can’t see me liking it. I know there’s other dating sites, but I don’t know....it’s just a bit difficult for me to imagine that I’d like it.
Thanks Hmmmmm. I was so relieved I almost burst into tears, as I’d been dreading it, but he couldn’t have been more of a gentleman.
Happy, I do try to enjoy my own company, and generally I do. I am a positive person who can appreciate the benefits of having my own life. I love reading, I want to write more and I love having me time...but lately I’ve just felt that I’d like to share more stuff....planning holidays, going out to dinner, chatting about a TV programme or s book. I’ve just come to realise that despite having a pretty happy life, I’m just lonely. Even when I’ve had a fella, they’ve either been long distance, or living their own life (with other women, as I discovered) or set in their ways and not wanting to change to embrace a relationship. So actually, even when I’ve been in relationships, I’ve been lonely.? And I don’t really know how to tackle it. Thank you for taking the trouble to reply x

I'm in a similar boat. Was extremely miserable and lonely for some years, but came to the conclusion after some OLD that I needed to learn to be happy and single before desperately trying to launch into another relationship. I set about trying to involve myself in community life. To be fair, I also lived in a small village and found it very lonely and isolating, and a bit later I moved to a larger town. There you can join things, like choirs, or outdoor gym classes or dance class or a service club like Lions or Rotary. The more involved and complicated their yearly timetable, the better. Your local panto or dramatics group will have you really busy for at least half the year. (Try not to join something that will be populated exclusively by pensioners though)
If you've pinned people down to the last Friday per month, then that is a great start. Draw up your own calendar for it - start now by booking up different restaurants, theatre trips and so on. Encourage everyone to bring their mates along too. Doesn't matter if you're always 'the organiser' - most people will be grateful that someone is!!
If you take up a new sport, say cycling, or sailing, then there is a reason to go away on training camps and often foreign training holidays with your sport friends. Chances are you'll meet someone with a shared interest that way.