Me and my ex seem to be in the "exciting-stage-before-you-date-stage".
So to cut a (very very) long story short. Met my exP in Jan this year. Lovely start, very similar people, both very much into each other. exP says in May "I am falling for you Edy". I let my defences down. In September exP says "I love you Edy". In October, exP is distant, argumentative, and pushing me away, and his problem with alcohol becomes apparent. My MH are awful around this time, I am clingy and dependent on him. An (very drunk on his behalf) argument about his behaviour leads to him telling me to "kick him to the curb", that he is not in my league, that he wont make me happy. I won't do it, so he breaks up with me. He says his behaviour comes from deep rooted issues he needs to sort out. I am heartbroken, but walk away from him, no begging, no trying to change his mind.
Now, at the beginning we found it very hard to cut the ties. He would call me daily. He still said "i love you" until about 3 weeks ago. We had numerous (platonic and some not platonic) sleepovers at my flat. He sends me family pics. He spent my bday with me (all day). We exchanged xmas gifts. His flatmates/friends/him/his mum have told me he's "lost" and no one new on the scene. I haven't even contemplated meeting someone else yet. But i tried to cut down contact from mid Nov - we still felt like a couple and we argued. I told him i was giving him what he wanted - no relationship. I ignored texts and calls a lot.
So on Xmas day he texts me "Merry Christmas (pet name)! xxx" just after midnight. I replied afternoon saying "have a lovely day exP". Texts have been non-stop since then. I have had a change of hair colour boxing day and he texts me saying "you are so beautiful, the new hair suits you a lot". He got drunk last night and text me "im so happy we're speaking, i dont know what im trying to say...".
Now, I love this guy. Really love him. I am in a better place. I am in therapy for my codependency and MH issues. I have a lovely new job, new flat, new friends.
how do i play this?