I met my DH when we were in our early twenties and both enjoyed to party. He's always been extremely social, loves to be out and about and comes from a family of big drinkers. 12 years later and as things have changed for me (I no longer drink alcohol, stopped going to clubs years ago and many of my friends now have young families) not much has changed for him ....and I worry that it never will.
He'll go on big benders every couple of weeks and as we live rural, he'll stay overnight on a friends couch and then spend the next day in bed nursing a hangover. I sometimes won't see him all weekend all because he's incapable of drinking sensibly. He spends most weekends in-between playing sport so we rarely have plans together. If we do have plans, I have to schedule them in weeks in advance, and it always comes from me, never from him.
My parents used to adore him but as we've gotten older and he continues to put his social life before me, they now think he's selfish and childish, which is also causing strain. There been a few occasions when he'll really let me down all because of drinking/nights-out and they have lost their patience.
As the years go by I'm finding it more difficult to live with. I'm pregnant with our first child after 4 years of trying to conceive and I'm currently in bed staying out the way of DH who is on the sofa with a sick bucket from an all day drinking session yesterday ...and yes I can hear him puking as I'm writing this. He's always taken full advantage of festive season nights out but I thought it would be different this year with me being pregnant, sadly not.
When I tell him how I feel he says the he deserves a social life and that if I had more friends and went out more there wouldn't be an issue. I've tried explaining that the problem isn't him seeing his friends, but more that he drinks like an 18 year old and then ruins the whole weekend being hungover. This usually results in him being annoyed at me for being annoyed at him and we never get anywhere.
Is this is what its like to grow apart?? Is this the start of the end??