Rebuilding finally.. social ideas for 55 year old Mum

[ChipmunkDance]

I know it is totally wrong to feel that way and people will want to reply ‘you aren’t responsible, it is her life etc’ but reality is I’m the only one who really cares about her and will never back away.
Mum went through horrible abusive relationship and nasty divorce. She was left to pick up the pieces and keep things going for her kids. She did an admirable job. The issue is myself and my sister are in our twenties now. We have our own lives and relationships and mum’s purpose has changed.
What do you did when you’re on you mid 50s, lonely, single and wanting to make a life for yourself?
Mum is willing to accept help and try things but I just don’t know what to suggest. Any ideas of groups to join, things to get stuck into and ways to rebuild a life no longer about your kids? She works but has little life beyond that. Please give me things I can suggest.
Thanks

Try looking at the groups on meetup.com.
There will be a huge variety close to her if she is Surrey area.

Another vote for meet up. I am the same age as your mum and have a busy, varied social life thanks to joining meet up 5 years ago. I organise and attend a lot of group activities but have also made a number of close friends.

U3A for someone who’s 55????? Good grief.

Does she have any friends who could go along with her initially? I’m in same age range and thinking what I and my friends do (yes lots go to gym but not often alone).
If not, I think gyms can be quite intimidating.
What about a local book club?
WI dependent on what local group is like?
A choir?
A writers circle?
A stitch and bitch group?
Aquarobics/Zumba/ yoga classes
Bee keeping or other outside the box thing?
Walking but not ramblers probably. Walking holidays for singles. Holiday fellowship is good place to start.
Voluntary work at local hospice, prison visiting, magistrate, national trust - somewhere where there are lots of other volunteers.

Get a dog.

I'm 52 and will be an emptynester in a few years. I've tried daytime classes, evening book groups and the WI. The members of each group are very nice but they're all in the 70s/80s and not quite up for a bottle of pinot grig at short notice.

I'm looking into HomeStart and becoming a JP. I'm looking into becoming a volunteer conservationist with the NT (i.e. dusting 18c bookcases). I'm also looking forward to finally reading more than one book every six months.

The nicest people I've found are gardeners so look into gardening courses run by garden centres.

Check out do-it.org with her and see what voluntary roles are out there. I've known loads of people find awesome voluntary jobs that have put them in touch with new friends and given a real sense of giving back to the community. I'm only 29 but have been volunteering in the same role for a decade and met some of my closest friends through it. She could go and be read to by little kids in schools, support other women in DV situations, visit prisons, train as a Samaritan, work in a charity shop, loads of ideas.

PS I tried the gym and the people were SO annoying especiall in the pool where they swim in pairs chatting and taking up half the pool. Please don't swim as a social activity. Save the chatting for the coffee afterwards. Or AIBU?

Although I am married still, I felt a bit like this. Went to a meet up social night and met two lovely mums, younger than me but it doesn’t matter as I’m a really youthful 50 something and we have remained friends since. It has made a lot of difference, getting WhatsApp’s pinginging in a few times a week, odd coffee dates and a meet up to go out in town every 6 weeks or so, it’s not tons but start with small steps!!

WI! If there's more than one group in her area then she can go as a visitor and find the most friendly/one that suits.

Medium/large ones often have 'sub=groups' for crafts, walking, books etc and coffee mornings where it's easier to get to know people.

This gives a starting point (some fall under London too): www.thewi.org.uk/become-a-member/structure-of-the-wi/england/surrey/find-a-wi

Make a list of things that you want to do and make plans to do them. It could be something like decorating a room or going on a holiday to a place that you have always wanted to visit. Rent a spare room in your house if you have one. House sit. Volunteer. Join a few clubs and try a few things, if you don't like, try something else. Do the things that you love. Allotment, scuba dive, travel....

I would look into U3A as they work locally but have a huge range of groups/activities.
Search on Do-It for volunteering opportunities.
School governors are always in demand particularly in deprived areas.

If she wants to go on holiday and meet different people. These holidays are tailored for individuals, couples, friends and they run small group holidays.

www.exodus.co.uk/

Just thought of another one, Spice Thames Valley - it's a bit too far for me but I have a friend who belongs and they do all sorts of stuff, walks, skiing, trips to distilleries.....