Firstly, I know the best advice would be to leave my partner. I currently feel unable to do so because of fear of upsetting our daughter, struggling financially, logistical problems with childcare & working hours and because I am scared of being alone, but also slightly scared of how he will take it if I seriously try and get him to move out. I am really posting on here for some support as I can't confide in my family and I worry it is unfair to try and lean on my friends who are trying to have a happy time over Christmas. In a nutshell he hates me. He thinks I betrayed him over a year ago (I wasn't unfaithful, but he read a text I sent to a friend at work saying that I thought someone in our office was attractive). For some context, we have had a fairly bad and one-sided relationship for a long time and I would go as far as to say he is quite abusive. He was (in a way rightly) furious about this text. I was very sorry and explained that it was symptomatic of what was wrong in our relationship. We had lots of rows and I was accepting of my punishment at first (i.e. him on a campaign of hatred) because I knew I had hurt him. I have tried everything to make it up to him, even though he doesn't totally deserve it, because I felt guilty and because we have a child together and because I did still love him a year ago. But over the last 12 months, he has become nastier and nastier. He calls me horrible names, constantly makes crude remarks about other women (not because he means it, but for revenge) and he tells me I am nothing and that he is just staying for our child. Luckily he works nights and I work days, so we have managed to avoid each other for most of the time, but yesterday we had a whole day together on Christmas Day. He was really horrible about his presents, really horrible about the food, quite abusive in the afternoon and then passed out drunk. My daughter had a lovely day though and didn't seem to notice too much, so I just focussed on her. I am taking her on holiday tomorrow to visit my parents, so was expecting him to spend today with us. When I booked the flights, I booked them on Boxing Day morning by mistake and he was annoyed as he seemed to want to spend Boxing Day with our child. So I spent another £110 on changing the flights to the 27th so that he wouldn't be annoyed. However this morning, he just said he was going to be out all day. I tried to find out what he was doing and he got really angry and made up lots of different lies - basically he wouldn't say who he was prioritising over us. I know I should have been pleased that he wouldn't be around but it really upset me that he made me pay loads of extra money to alter my flights and then has gone and left us all day on our own to do something secretive which he can't be open about. And then to add insult to injury, he said - Let's compromise, you prepare a nice meal and I will go out and spend the day doing my thing, and then I will eat with you in the evening. If you don't agree to this, then I won't come home at all. He is so arrogant, that he thinks he is doing me a favour by coming home to eat with me. The last thing I want to do is make him a nice meal to be honest - and he always criticises my food no matter how nice it is. Anyway, I just want to off load really. I know I deserve better. I just don't know how to make a change.