There’s more than one way to address this situation. Seems to me most folk don’t go straight to ‘no contact’ from one day to the next. If there’s been a big blowup, then that really needs to be sorted out before a long-term policy is put in place. You really do need to think things through carefully, and not when they are around or you’re recovering from an intense period with them.
You could certainly read up on concepts/techniques for dealing with difficult family members- look for ‘out of the FOG’, Grey Rock, low contact and medium chill.
You might find (as I did) that cutting all ties is unlikely to be practical for you. For example, I wanted my DD to have the experience of a grandparent, albeit a supervised one. I also realised I was actually ok with helping my mum with ageing-related admin tasks, medical appointments and a few other things. I guess I have a strong sense of family duty, and don’t want to deal with heavy guilt in my life.
So once I got all that clear in my head, I created a (private) set of boundaries and tactics and started using them. It’s working very well, and after 9 months I hardly ever get off-track.
The danger is usually that I am tempted to ignore my own rules when she is being reasonable and seeking closeness. I have to remind myself that I’ve chosen to get off the roller-coaster, so even the fun bits of the relationship need to be off-limits. You don’t get to cherry-pick, but you do get better mental health overall.
Be aware that it’s unlikely you’ll get a good reaction when you start acting differently. It can get pretty ugly.
Also, it’s very unlikely that you’ll inspire your mum to look at her behaviour or make the changes that’d need to happen for your relationship to have a fresh start. We all carry that fragile little hope inside us, that they’ll see how much they’ve hurt us and their deep love for us will cause magical and sincere self-awareness. Don’t take it personally, it’d be like blaming the computer for only having one program uploaded.
Good luck with your journey, unfortunately you’re on a well-trodden path but in good company!