Awful family dynamic every year - WWYD?

[lonelynextchristmas]

My parents aren’t interested in me really - they don’t ask questions or make conversation - even though I live quite far away my arrival is a bit of a non event and I don’t think they appreciate the effort.

My relationship with my mother is hugely difficult. She has an ability to turn any situation around so that she is the victim and there are always tears on Christmas Day. My father takes her side no matter what. I feel terrible about myself when I come home. I grew up thinking this was normal but have come to realise that my friends and past boyfriends all think it’s not the right dynamic.

They’re just not supportive or interested and they don’t know me.

To be honest I don’t want to be here next Christmas because quite clearly I spoil the fun for everyone but the alternative is spending the day alone.

What would you do?

Don't go next year, sounds awful.

I'd make other arrangements...invite a friend around, volunteer to do a Christmas dinner for the elderly/homeless, go on a holiday or spend the day alone. It would be far preferable.

Why bother when you aren't appreciated. I've had Christmas's where I've been made to feel like a spare part, it's horrible.

You have a whole year in which time you might meet another boyfriend and go to his parents. Sorry your parents don't value you as much as thry should.

Why not volunteer for Crisis or similar. You’ll meet lovely like minded people and do something great. Christmas is only another day. You don’t need to spend it with people who make you unhappy, whoever they are x

Jayfee I've been single for two years now and I've come to the conclusion thats not going to happen for me, particularly after today as I'm apparently so horrible!

How awful. I’d volunteer next year, helping others will be a lovely way to spend Christmas.

Find a friend who doesn't do Christmas either. Then volunteer somewhere or go off on holiday together over Christmas.

I think there's an awful pressure to have a 'perfect family Christmas' and a lot of people put up with being miserable because actually, their families aren't very nice.

There are no rules to say you have to see family and Christmas. Set the tone for a day you can be happy with (for me, this year I'm posting from New York as my family dynamics aren't great either). I'm away with DH but if I was single, I would seriously consider a day at home watching films, eating cheese and crackers and walking the dogs.

Yeah don’t spend/waste another Christmas with your family, they are not a healthy influence.