Relationships phobia

[Rosaline29]

Hello,
I'm 23 and I think I'm too picky when it comes to choosing a partner. I'm a medical student and no matter how kind and sweet a guy is I can never feel attracted to him if he's not well educated .. I feel like i'm letting go of some good opportunities sometimes. I just started seeing someone, he loves me so much, but I don't like that he makes a lot of spelling mistakes when he texts me .. I speak 4 languages but he can't even spell his native language correctly (dunno if this is a superficial criteria but it matters to me sad ) I'm very careful when it comes to talking with him because I shouldn't make him feel less educated and cultivated than me and it makes me uncomfortable !
The thing is my parents like him , he is responsible, mature , wise and so caring ! They keep telling me to continue seeing him and probably I may change my mind , but I feel that I may be wasting my time !
P.s : I sort of dated someone for a very little time , he was smart and caring ,still didn't like him very much and ditched him as soon as he confessed . I Keep doing that whenever a relationship gets serious and I feel like I may get married to him.
What should I do?

He confessed to what?

I think you are only 23, have loads of time to see different people and you haven't met the right person yet. Go and enjoy yourself.

Judging someone's spelling mistakes does seem a bit judgmental especially if they are lots of other good qualities but you need to decide what your dealbreakers are.

"Still didn't like him very much" - why are you dating people you don't like?

My English is in no way perfect and I'm only pointing this out because of what you said about your boyfriend's spelling mistakes when he texts you- your OP actually has quite a number of grammatical errors in it. You misuse punctuation eg commas instead of full stops. Also, you wrote 'dunno' instead of 'don't know'.

I would be very careful about looking down my nose at somebody who you feel is not as 'educated' as yourself. Perhaps you are not without fault yourself. It might be an idea to look at other reasons you are together such as common interests, a similar sense of humour, his kindness, his loyalty to you. Just because you are studying medicine does not make you better than the next person and it would serve you well to remember that.

Were the grammatical and spelling errors in your post intended to be ironic?

Education and intelligence are not always correlated.

You're only 23. You should probably not be looking for a relationship until you've either qualified or failed your medical exams.

I'm not sure I'd go on texts to judge their education. I'm educated and speak 6 languages but I don't tend to check for typos or predictive text when I'm writing texts or on social media.

However, I've only ever been attracted to clever blokes so I understand that bit. You're only 23 so I wouldn't be too worried about being too fussy. Better to be sure that it's the right person before you settle down!

I totally understand. I’m 25 and have had 2 long term relationships plus plenty of dating etc and always would wonder “is this it?”. I saw sex as something to be put up with and another person as something to be tolerated. I think intelligence was a large part of this for me; I find it attractive and it’s important for me to feel someone is “on my level”, howeverI’m autistic and thought because of this I might not find it.

A couple of weeks ago a friend, who is also very intelligent, expressed his interest. We now can’t get enough of each other. I feel a genuine sexual attraction and all those feelings of “putting up” with someone else are not there.

So I think you probably haven’t met the right person. Let this guy go gently. Being a med student you should mix with plenty of intelligent people so just get yourself out there but also don’t settle for anyone you’re not 100% on! Take your time to meet ans mix with plenty of people and hopefully it will become much clearer!

Of course you’re only attracted to intelligent men, you’re a med student.

I don’t like stupid men either. And poor spelling is a dealbreaker if they’re not actively dyslexic. (And anyway, how hard is it to google a spelling).

You’ve got a brain use it. Don’t date people who aren’t on your intelligence level. You’re surrounded by student doctors and actual doctors, so focus on finding one with whom you connect and share interests.

You need to grow up a bit - don’t listen to your parents, don’t date people you don’t like, and don’t assume you will marry everyone you date.

How will you deal with arrogant consultants and difficult patients if you can’t stand up to your own parents?

I stopped reading at I’m 23.

You don’t need to have found the perfect relationship at 23

I don't understand the issue. If you aren't that into him then end it, what does it matter if your parents like him? You're 23, you've got years to find the right person and it sounds like they will need to be your intellectual equal, that's perfectly reasonable

And if you don't like the guy you are dating that much the decent thing is to be honest with him.