Uncaring in laws

[Juststopit]

I suppose this could have gone in Aibu!
Currently separated from dh but on the road to getting back together and things are going really well. His parents have been very unsupportive however. They have not spoken to our dd for over 8 months and have not called or mailed to see how the kids are. They are staying for a week with BIL just 11 miles from us yet are not popping to take the kids out or anything. Not a single Xmas card to the kids or a present from the whole of dh family
Do We just accept they don't care and go more or less nc? They have caused problems through out our marriage with their poor attitude towards me ( I m dead common compared to them ;) ) and both me and dh have had enough. I m just struggling with how they can treat the kids so badly.

OP - you can’t change other people or make them care.
Also - you can’t blame your husband for his parents behavior.

Just focus on your kids and your family. If you want to reconcile with your H - that’s between you and him.
And what in-laws do or don’t do - shouldn’t have any bearing on any of that.

Stay NC. Their behaviour has told you loud and clear what shitty GPS they are. Protect your kids from them.

I can under them not talking to you if you’ve split up from their son, even if you’re getting back together they might think their son is better off without you for X reason and rather it didn’t happen. Not speaking to the kids is another matter though. I assume the kids are also your husbands kids? If so, they’ve behaved really badly to their grandkids which is inexcusable. You have every right to want nothing more to do with them personally.

That being said, they’re your husbands parents so it’s up to him whether he goes NC with them and he might want his kids to still have some semblance of a relationship with their grandparents. You’re going to have to talk to him about it and ask him what he wants to do.