How do you get over betrayal?

[Ofthread]

The relationship is ended. My ex is now having a relationship with one of my friends. We had a twelve year relationship, I wanted children and he refused. I know, I know, I should have left him, I know this, but I got so depressed and felt that there was something wrong with me, I couldn't see a way out of it. The thing is I am just not getting over this betrayal, I feel like I've been beaten up and I just can't get over it, it's still as fresh as the day I found out. How do people get over these things? Or do you just accept that this it what it feels like for the rest of your life?

@AnnA121
This post is very old. So you might not get the help and responses you really need or want.
Take this post and start a brand new thread. You’ll find lots of people who have and are in similar positions

Similar happened to me, kind of - h left me just after Christmas (we had DD 2 at the time). It was hard, couldn't understand it, we went to counselling but he blamed me for everything, the counselling confirmed it and everything that I tried to change for him was just not enough.
Anyway, it turned out a few months later that he was sleeping with a 'good' friend of mine who had encouraged me to cry on her shoulder etc ...
So actually, as much as my marriage breakup has been so hard, the betrayal of someone who was supposed to be a good friend has actually hurt me so much more.
She's been brazen and completely unapologetic since, even since they have split up.

I was with my partner for 5 years. Engaged. While I was looking at churches, he was sleeping with my friend. I found them in bed together. It damaged any future friendship with women. I just don’t know how anybody trusts a woman enough to have them around their partner/husband. Women are deceitful and manipulative and the “girl code” just doesn’t seem to exist anymore! Everyone’s at it and on a power trip! It’s lonely sometimes but I’d rather be lonely than friends with liars.

I think you've been given some good advice that helps in the short term. It took me a couple of years to be able to function relatively normal. I. e. not being consumed by anger or tears.
It's the lack of trust in your ability to make good judgements about others that's keeps you stuck and what makes it such a shitty thing to do to another human being.

I’m 5 days into ending with my Fiancé after discovering he’s back on dating sites. After 4 years together this is the 3rd time I’ve found out he’s done this and although I’m relieved to be away from his lies the betrayal really changes you as a person. My first fiancé of 9 years also cheated on me and it took me years to get over it. I can’t explain how much it suppresses your personality. I’m coping this time much better than previous times but it’s very hard to function through the day with a smile on your face. I just feel annoyed that as men do they move on quickly and replace you and I just want him to feel some pain like I’m feeling. Hoping each week it gets easier! Be strong ladies, we deserve better x