Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My mother is a narcissist

20 replies

splatattack · 25/12/2017 21:01

So spending Christmas with my mother I am really having the chance to reflect on her behaviour and how I am made to feel when I am with my mother. From the outside my parents are perfect...will spend whatever is needed, will provide material goods, will fly to be there (with their kids) when required at the drop of a hat...but behind closed doors the picture is very very different. I did some googling after another put down comment from my mum for no reason, and she fits 19 of the 24 criteria for being a narcissist that I found online. I genuinely feel so down about this...it makes me see her in a completely new light...rather than spending time with her, trying constantly to please her and gain approval, I just want to cut her out for a while. Or at least hold a mirror up to her so she can see herself for what she is...

Has anyone any experience of a narcissistic mother? How did you know that's what she is? How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
Littlelambpeep · 25/12/2017 21:18

Going through this at the moment. Atila is a great support. Mine are the life and soul of the party and great to visitors and guests. But then, behind closed doors remove every ounce of self confidence I have. Criticise. Blame me for their shit life. I have slowly pulled away for the past five years. This is the first of nc.
Hope you get some support.

RhubarbTea · 25/12/2017 21:21

You can't 'hold a mirror up' as you put it because these people will never change, and never see themselves as the narcissists they really are. This is because to do so would demolish the sense of self they have built up and unravel them as a person - on some deep, subconscious level they know that it's all built on sand and inside they feel empty and like a nothing, but they can't ever stop and drop the facade because all hell would break loose psychologically.
This is why there is there no point in trying to get them to 'see', and also there is a huge likelihood that if you do attempt it, they will turn on you (because you are fundamentally threatening their sense of self) and rage at you terrifyingly, demean you, and verbally tear you apart. It's a defence mechanism, and totally subconscious so they aren't even aware of it. But there is just no point at all, so save your energy and peace of mind.

My mum is like this, I have been no contact with her since Easter. I won't say it's been blissful because, well, she's my mum, you only get one and I'm devastated its come to this. I went low contact for years but it just wasn't working and she was still really messing with my head and being awful a good deal of the time when I saw her.

I have had to suffer guilt, the thing where they try and get other people to persuade you round (google NPD flying monkeys), her trying to get in touch, fear of other people finding out what I have done and hating me/thinking I am evil, constant second guessing myself especially when I just want my mum and then remember what she is like. It's been hard.

I also have gained confidence I could never have imagined, started going out and making new friends and just become almost unrecognisable in terms of how much I like myself, how outgoing and happy I am, how AT PEACE I feel all the time, calm and safe in my own skin. I didn't know how much she was bringing me down. I didn't see her today although I did sort a small gift and for DS (9) to drop it in with his Dad while I waited in the car. I felt comfortable with the choice, and I was firm and resolute which it turns out others respect more than if you are dithering, but it's taken a lot of months to get to that firm place of "No, this person is really bad for me and I'm not going there".

Sorry, I've written an essay but I just wanted to give my perspective on going NC with a narc mum. It is hard, I won't pretend it's easy but for me personally it has been intensely worthwhile in ways I couldn't have dreamed and I wish I'd done it 10 years ago. That doesn't take away the fact that it is a sad choice to make, one that no-one should have to make and I'm still dealing with the pain of it being necessary.
Good luck OP. Flowers

splatattack · 25/12/2017 21:23

I have a few more days to get through, my wedding being one of them. My mum has made it so much about her that my dad says he just wants to day to be over which is lovely. Every time I tell her to back off she says she is only like this because she wants my wedding to be perfect for me...it is only because she cares so much for me..which is so far from the truth but she can't see it. The whole wedding is now a bit of an embarrassment because it has been relentless...it must be perfect because she has to show off her perfect life and perfect daughter...

After this i am off (thank god) and who knows when I will be back...I am going to need my space for a very very long time...

OP posts:
splatattack · 25/12/2017 21:26

And thank you for your replies...it really helps..

My brother and sister would kill me if I went NC though...they would tell me about how much our parents do for us (which is true), but it is the emotional stuff I can't cope with...I don't need material things, I just want a normal mother/daughter relationship. But I need to acknowledge that I'm not going to get it no matter how hard I try...but I am going to be portrayed as ungrateful...

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 25/12/2017 21:36

Your brother and sister will get more of it when you are NC. It will also remind them that the situation is optional. They, like you, have the option to be NC so if they don't take it they know deep down it comes from fear. All of this is very hard for other people to accept about themselves and their situation. Especially because the day that ypu decide you have had enough probably isn't the day when they are ready to decide the same.thing.

They will try to guilt you back inside to sooth themselves and keep the narcissist at bah. Personally, I find such behaviour easier to cope with by reminding myself of the mental trauma they are going through, feeling sad for them, but realising that the pain is of their making, not mine, and is a sign that I am definitely right to be out of it.

Aussiebean · 26/12/2017 07:36

In the mean time, read up on the grey rock technique of dealing with people. Basically it is where you give them no ammunition to beat you with.

Also trying and turn the conversation back to her.

Eg ‘how it work?’
‘It’s fine, how was seeing your friend?’

‘What’s happening at home’
‘same old same old. Have you seen that new shop on the high street? What do you think?’

The idea is you tell her nothing personal and getting her talking about her favourite subject (herself) this will give you some space while you sort out your next move.

splatattack · 26/12/2017 07:48

You are right aussie...normally I try to do that, tell her nothing personal. But when I am home visiting I get lulled into a false sense of security ( I guess I am trying for the relationship I want to have rather than the reality) and then everything gets twisted and thrown back at me...if I call her up on her shitty behaviour she turns everything around so she is the victim..and it is all done in such a babyish way...last night was the last straw though..as soon as this bloody wedding is over (I regret having it near to where my parents live so badly), then I am walking away...I need space for a long time or at least until she gets the help she needs..

OP posts:
Middleageddreamer · 26/12/2017 08:49

I use the grey rock method with my mother with good effect. It's really shifted my feelings about the relationship. I feel calm, not distressed and able to compute things better. I still get the put downs but they don't bother me now. Yesterday she told me the same story at least 10 times. Her friend was bragging about her daughter's new hair colour and cut saying to my mum her daughter looked beautiful. My mum told me she replied with 'well, Dreamer could probably look reasonably good if she had no outgoings and could spend money on haircuts'. This little ditto was repeated a number of times. The old me would have reacted in some way to seek clarification that my mum thinks I look OK on some level. The new me just changed the subject.
I keep all topics centered around my mums needs. 'how are you today'; When she asks me what I think of her new jumper I tell her it's lovely. When she tells me her neighbours tell her she is amazing I say that's wonderful.
Because the whole relationship is based on her needs and I have no opinions, no requirements I am hopeful the childlike rages will be minimal. Someone suggested this method on here after I posted about her getting into a rage when I tried to rationalise with her about something. She turned very nasty and personal and ended up locking herself in her room. You cannot rationalise with a narc. If it happens again I will leave early and I will never try to explain another point of view to her.
I've been doing the method for about 4 months now. I realise now that her behaviour was detrimental to my mental health. I spent all my time thinking of ways to improve myself to garner her approval and love. That's a recipe for disaster.
OP I hope some of this is helpful to you. Im not in a position to go no contact so this works for me at the moment. It's a daily challenge for me to deal with the residual thoughts of gaining approval and love and to manage the put downs, but it's helping q lot.

RandomMess · 26/12/2017 09:01

Do you really want the wedding the way it is going to be, I think you'll look back on it with pain and sadness. TBH I'd elope then cancel - hopefully she'll never speak to you again...

There is a book/blog Daughter of a Narcissist worth a read?

fc301 · 26/12/2017 09:10

Very sorry she is spoiling your special time. Tackling it in any way will trigger a devastating rage I'm afraid. Get away ASAP and find ways to make yourself healthy again 💐

splatattack · 26/12/2017 09:14

Hey random, I don't have a choice now as the wedding is in a few days and people are flying in from all over...in many ways it has been ruined..I guess I should just count myself lucky that I have a new life with my lovely husband to go to...

But you are right, I will leave things now...you cannot rationalise with her anyway..and once I can I leave, have some space, and think carefully about my next steps and what contact I have...

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/12/2017 09:25

Just remember the leave and cleave part of the traditional vows, quote them at her. You can even start saying to them "out of your hair soon, newly weds and all that"

splatattack · 26/12/2017 09:38

Thank you all...I am feeling much calmer, really appreciate the support and understanding...

OP posts:
MissHemsworth · 26/12/2017 10:14

Hi OP I have a narc mother & sister who enable each other, they have a very weird co-dependent relationship. I am the common enemy. So I can completely understand.

My wedding was dominated by them. It's the one day you will never get back, I deeply regret not cancelling it & flying out to Vegas to get married there. Memories of the day are overshadowed by them.

Look up flying monkeys as it looks like your brother & sister fit into that category. As PP have said, grey rock is s good technique.

Aussiebean · 26/12/2017 15:22

Are there any understanding friends who can keep her away from you as much as possible on the day? Run interference?

splatattack · 26/12/2017 15:52

My friends are aware so hopefully..I imagine she will be hanging around her friends most of the time anyway...it is her wedding after all ..

OP posts:
Cariadd · 26/12/2017 16:28

I had this with my Mother and Father. My Wedding was actually "hers". I tried to have the wedding I wanted which was very low key but she/they wouldnt have it and it had to be the big wedding with the whole works. I didnt know more than a handful of people at my wedding and it wasnt about me or my husband at all. That was 31 years ago and before my Dad died he actually admitted that he let my Mum have the wedding she wanted for me rather than let me have my day. He didnt apologise. Just told my daughter to make sure she had the wedding she wanted, not like what I had to have.
I am actually still angry to this day about my Wedding day. It was horrible really, the whole day. The best bit was that me and my lovely man got married.

I did not have anything to do with them for 20 years and it was so hard but much easier emotionally for me.

Think hard before you let her potentially ruin what is one of the biggest days of your life. If you can put your foot down now and assert yourself then you may be able to change how things pan out. If you let her go ahead and ruin your day by having it her way then you may regret it.

Bluelonerose · 26/12/2017 16:31

Op I could of written your post myself.

All I want is a proper mom.

I have no advice but just to let you know your not alone Flowers

splatattack · 26/12/2017 18:25

Thank you Blue...nothing to be done I guess...but I really appreciate the support

And Cariadd...I feel the same as you probably did...I'm not sure what can be done at this stage...but I am marrying a lovely lovely man so that is what counts!

OP posts:
Cariadd · 26/12/2017 19:09

splat given all I know now and how things panned out in the further 27 years, if I could go back I would insist on the wedding I want as it is after all, my wedding. Hopefully its only once so its really important and special.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread