I'm to heavy for dp?

[Sm87]

Hi all

I'm new to this so please bear with me and I'm hoping I'm putting this is the right section

So my partner of ten years came home this morning from night shift, came to bed. When we had sex he went to lift my legs up ( sorry if to much info 🙄) And hurt me definitely not intentionally and I shouted out. He stopped and said 'you're heavy I can't lift you up'

Now I joined slimming work 15 months ago and lost 1.5st - have put half of that back on. But he has hand on heart ALWAYS had my back and supported me when I've been losing weight. Ideally I need to lost another 2 but it was such a shock hearing him say that I know him well enough so know he said it without thinking at that moment

Anyway when we finished I went and had a cry in the shower, don't want to bring it up as he'll get upset he upset me

Just needed to talk to someone ... how would you feel or react? Thank you x

Btw he is 11st naturally very slim and I'm 14st11 so am well aware I'm heavier

Well you ARE heavy and would be if you were 9 stone! In context that is an ok comment if it was meant as a dig then It obviously is not ok.

So as he’s trying to lift your legs up why didn’t you get with the programme and lift them up yourself? I have always been heavier than my partners but they never really ‘felt’ it during sex as I carried my own weight. I think you probably just need to get fitter and more flexible.

I'm a lot heavier than you and my dh has never felt the need to tell me that. Perhaps he knows I could flatten him.

I think he meant you were being a dead weight - not fat!

Agree with Roo!

I bet if you told him, he would explain and you would feel better and get a lovely cuddle. We all say things that are recieved not as we meant them.

That's a really shitty thing to say. Everyone is heavy. We're human beings. It was a crap thing for him to say, whatever your weight. I'm bigger than you but none of my partners have ever felt the need to comment on it. YANBU.

Rainybobo now you've said you think he meant a dead weight I can see your right, he never says a nasty word about anyone me included. So it wasn't a dig.

I do know I'm heavy compared to him - the good thing is I'm tall 5'9 and carry it quite well or so people say and never believe it when I say in size 16-18

I do an hour dog walk everyday, lane swim 2x a week and bike ride every two weeks 20-25 miles, guess I need to work on more though.

Bobbins it did make me feel so so shitty - if he says anything else I will 100% tell him, it's sounds like you have lots of confidence which I admire x

Sorry should have said I didn't have a chance to help lift my legs up he said that and it put me completely off

I can see why you'd be hurt, but like others I'd assume he meant heavy as in this is a relative weight to lift (any which way you look at it each leg will be at least 2 stone) rather than 'you're heavier than I want you to be'. You speak nicely of him so I think he'd be upset to realise his comment had hurt you this much rather than being the kind who wants to get a dig in.

I hope all is sorted now and you got that cuddle OP!