dh and i had a fight. he was very hurtful and condescending. Finally I told him he lacked empathy for me and was being narcissist.
background story - dh is extremely sensitive to criticism and hates getting answers back. I tend to argue back especially when I am not wrong.He would never like a post fight discussion. He tends to say harsh things in fights (e.g. our relationship is horrible).
Other than that dh is supportive and understanding. But normal discussions become fight easily because dh has low patience and loses empathy.
We have a lot of stress from his dm. He was very close to her. Says has mixed feelings (guilt and anger) towards her. She lives alone in another country and is very controlling. I didn't visit her last holidays because she was very negative towards me in earlier visits. She convinced dh last time that she wants me to visit and her behaviour was not intentional.
This time I am visiting her with dh for Xmas. I am already with her for a week. I am making efforts to establish a cordial relationship with her but she continues to be bossy and passive aggressive with me, interferes in my interactions with other members which can easily cause misunderstanding.
I talked to dh about it and he was supportive of me. Said he noticed dm's behaviour himself. But yesterday, dh and I had a minor argument which got escalated because dh seemed half interested in listening to my explanation. Finally I lost it a bit and complained.
He blew up on me and told me nobody cares about him. Everyone cares about themselves. I don't care about his stress. He got very angry since I kept insisting I do but I think in some way he is right because I overlooked his stress because of mine. Since then he kept saying he would act selfish and do what he wants not what everyone wants. He told me I should stop feeling sorry for myself. He says his dm is wrong but he can't abandon her. He had asked me to go back in a few days as he can't deal with more stress. He will come back after few weeks. We were supposed to be here for a month.
He keep saying I am giving him stress and have mentioned many things I did wrong from our history of fights. While getting upset more with me for mentioning his past behaviour in response.
He does tends to fight unfair.
I am very hurt by his lack of empathy towards me. I also regret getting upset with him. I know I screwed up but I was also very overwhelmed by the atmosphere here.
Now he is with his family while I am mostly in the room. He has asked me if I want to have a drink in a very non-friendly way. I know that's his way of ending fight. He offered me cake before.
I don't know why I am writing here. Maybe because I feel very alone in a foreign country.I don't know what to do or how to feel. He is not a horrible person. I noticed nobody truly cares about how he feels.
Can someone please share their perspective on this?
Thanks for reading.