Please can I ask how you and your ex manage this, re children?

[Dieu]

Hi. Not sure if I'm being the unreasonable one here, but I'm sure you'll tell me if I am
Ex husband/father of my children has the kids every second weekend. I always pack them a bag, and they bring the dirty clothes back home at the end. Fine.
So he had them this weekend, and dropped them off tonight. Prior to the weekend, I had asked him not to send them back with the dirty laundry, and politely requested that he do it at his (for once). Reason being that he will have more spare time than me over the holiday, as I have the children for most of the holiday, and it will be full-on. Plus we are going away for a couple of days from Christmas Day, and I didn't really want to deal with a load of dirty washing. Also, the kids' presents are done at mine, and the house will be a total riot anyway!
He had messaged me back to say that this was a bizarre request, that he had never had to do their washing on previous weekends, and wasn't about to start. I very calmly replied that this was fine, but that he should buy them clothes for his place, as I wouldn't be packing any more bags or doing their laundry from his time with them.
Kids arrived back a few hours ago with, unsurprisingly, their unwashed clothing from the weekend.
Am I being petty? Is he a 1950s arse? And how do you and your ex manage this situation?
It is Christmas Eve, so any kind and supportive replies would be much appreciated (although I don't mind being respectfully told if I'm in the wrong!).
Many thanks.

My DS takes nothing with him to either house, he has it all there (unless there is something he specifically wants to wear). This was a gradual thing though, not through badness of my ex, just habit by both, apart from having pyjamas. When his now wife moved in, he eventually sorted himself out. I can’t imagine ever going back to packing a bag every time. Though DS stays there far more often 2/3 nights per week. The only thing that he doesn’t sort is uniform, which kisses me off greatly. He just lets DS put them same one on next day, even though I sent a spare up, it ended up back here and he’s never asked for because he can’t seem to be bothered washing it in between stays.

In your situation I’d send nothing and let him crack on. He’s been asked nicely. Twat.

I'd resend the dirty laundry he recently sent back so that he had to wash it during their next stay

I wouldn’t do anything that involves the kids.

My ex h doesn’t wash the kids clothes. After a week long holiday he will drop them off with their dirty clothes. I am their main carer so I suppose he doesn’t see it as part of his role......we have other battles to fight so I ignore the clothes issue. Karma will get him one day.

I know it's a different relationship but I have my GS some weekends, straight from nursery on Friday until I return him there on Monday.
What my DD and I have founds works best is if he has things like spare clothing here, PJ's etc. He usually has a change of clothing in his bag ( for nursery) but I have all the essentials here, underwear, wellies etc. The clothes he's wearing on the Friday I often wash so he can wear them again Monday. If we are away for the weekend or too busy I just return them dirty in a bag. DD prefers her own washing powder and softener!

Fucking hell.
It would occur to me that some NRP's are sending dirty clothes back with children?!!
Although, thinking about it - plenty of arseholes out there.

My child goes in the clothes she's wearing only. She comes back in the clothes she's wearing only, which may or not be the same ones.

No fucking way would I be taking dirty clothes back to wash for him!

I think logistically its an awful faff to wash their clothes and return them to you a different day, when they are only staying overnight, or to spend his time washing and drying them in a hurry whilst they are there.

It makes much more sense for him to return them to you.

If it is a real issue, then ask him to keep a spare set of clothes at his house. Its still going to mean a lot of faffing around though, because they will arrive in one set of clothes and leave in another, so the set at his house will always be changing, and there will be confusion bout what is where.

TBH I think just keep them and their clothes together, and take the dirty clothes home to wash.