DH and my Christmas cold- just a rant

[Nanodust]

So I woke up 3 days ago with a horrible cold. I still went out and did full Christmas shop and collected food on order.
However today I’ve been really bad, hardly able to get out of my bed. Fortunatley I already bought most gifts, DH only had to pop to corner store to get some chocolates for neighbours and help with wrapping. I still did what I could.
I haven’t been able to cook or watch DCs. They’ve been bouncing on my bed a bit, but I’m not really that good for much.
So my DH seems angry at me. He keeps making fun of me in front of the DCs and has suggested he tells MIL I will not be joining them for Xmas. I may feel a bit better tomorrow and I would love to spend some time with the kids.
He has shrunk his clothes in the dryer, he couldn’t be bothered sorting them which I normally do, he is annoyed at me for this. He has frozen today’s dinner, as I didn’t put it away as usual so he just put everything from shop into freezer!
I work really hard all year and I love Xmas and I feel so down about it all. I don’t understand why he’s being so cold and annoyed at me. He keeps singing Xmas songs but in a sarcastic way, emphasising the disappointment....
He has made meals and watched kids, but given I do that most of the year it doesn’t seem a lot to expect. I’m making my own dinner tonight, just to avoid the passive aggressive atmosphere, it’s making me feel dreadful.

Go google 'Contempt' from the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse by John Gottman. Thing is if he does everything so badly, you might be tempted to step in and rescue it all? I'm poorly too, on the sofa aching and shivering. The good thing is my H Left me last year so I can totally relax!

Do you usually do everything and he's upset because he actually has to act like an adult and do something?

He sounds like an arse

When you were doing it all, you were also enabling an entitled fucker. This is him laying down his ‘Don’t you dare ever inconvenience me again’ marker, so that you know the consequences for daring to be less than 110%. I’m sorry your H is being an arsehole but if you’re honest with yourself, as disappointing as his behaviour has been, it can’t be that shocking because I doubt that his twattery has been hiding under a bushel.

Hopefully you will channel your disappointment and hurt in demanding better treatment and that means doing less for the entitled twat.

Is he always vile when you are I'll?

Is he always vile when you are ill ?

I don't believe he's a kind, caring, competent person the rest of the year and just suddenly morphed into this colossal bellend this morning.

Selfish prick!
His dinner, his Xmas, his kids as well as yours.
Won't hurt to pull his weight!
As PP has said, stop enabling the fucker.
Let his mother wipe his arse!

He seems to have had a bit of a reality check after I just lost it with him and gave him a massive row. He is usually very caring etc, it’s just something about when I become unwell. Which is very rare but he always seems to get annoyed at me being unwell
Looks like they are having Xmas dinner without me. I said that I would prefer to see how I feel in the morning. However his DM is a hypochondriac and seems to not want me to come over unless I am 100%. I suppose they are pretty old and I wouldn’t want to pass it on to them.

When people behave that way it reminds me of how frustrated I get with inanimate objects like the printer. I've bought it to make my life easier, I put time and research into finding the most suitable printer and when it acts up (usually at the most inconvenient time) I get really pissed off that it's not just doing its job like it's supposed to.

I think people like this, pissed off husbands, cheeky fucker friends who want you to mind their DC all holidays and get angry with you if you don't want to, work colleagues who expect you to pick up their slack and complain if you actually do your own work instead, all these people consider the person they are angry with to be a 'thing' not a person with their own challenges and needs. You think everything is ok because while you're fulfilling their needs they don't need to think about you. They give you a bit of positive feedback to make you work efficiently, in the same way that they provide electricity to the printer, and that makes you think that they care about you, but really they are thinking of themselves. Even if they do something selfless (and they rarely do) it's to make themselves feel good about being a wonderful spouse/friend/colleague.

Great analogy BlackANS

Hope you feel better soon bibidee

Thanks everyone for responses. I think he got a shock at my standing up to him, he’s downstairs wrapping presents and bathing the kids.....!

Sounds pretty selfish to me. He should be looking after you not hassling you.

How has he had a reality check?

Hope you feel.better soon op, I think you should be having meals on wheels as well tomorrow
If your not going. Or at least a plate of food to re heat for,the evening 💐

Massive leap, but is he scared to see you so incapacitated? Still, absolutely no excuse to be a twat. Maybe he’s horribly disappointed about Christmas Day not being how he envisaged, but omg, what crap behaviour. Hope you’re better soon.

Why should you miss Christmas with your kids because MIL is a hypochondriac and won't want you there?

I would be changing things up so that you get to do the important bits with your kids. Will they open presents at yours?

I left my xp after he behaved like this when I fell ill over Xmas. It was a long time coming but his juvenile response tonne being unwell provide the catalyst I was waiting for.