Was this sexual abuse?

[buddhasbelly]

5 years ago I was offered a place in a dry house to help me stay sober.

The person that run the house was twice my age but said many statements of the like "I'm the one that can help you get sober" etc. I slept with him the first night I was there and on many subsequent occasions. The first time I was still in alcohol withdrawal. The subsequent Times I thought he was "saving me" if that makes sense?

I have moved on, had got sober but saw someone a few weeks ago that knew of this place. She had invested money into the place as had several others to the time of £300k.

Since I saw this woman I have fallen off the wagon. I have kept my job etc but I can't understand if whathe did was sexual abuse. I never said no. Thanks for any replies.

Thanks for the replies.

The man in question no longer runs this unit. At the time he was getting referals through the council that had a duty to house people and this is how my mum heard about it. It was presented as a place for people to get sober and get their lives back on track.

As far as I am aware he is still in a relationship with a former client of there.

I have been reading about 13th steppers so thank you to the poster who said to do that. It describes some of his behaviour perfectly.

I am angry this woman brought up all of this in a public place where I didn't really have a chance to process it all again or utilise my coping strategies. I had 15 months of sobriety behind me prior to this (I am sober again now though so back on track I suppose).

It's ruined my family's Christmas. The first Christmas in a long time where we were going to be together.

I do fully understand though that it was my choice to drink again. I have dealt with so much over the last year sober but thiswas such a shameful time in my life I felt embarrassed to talk to anyone.

I'm so glad you are sober again- well done. There will be other Christmases, I'm sorry this one was derailed by her thoughtlessness.

Thank you.

I hope no one minds if I use this is a place to write. It is helping to write down my thoughts.

I had worked had in CBT to work on my core belief that I am a failure and had used this year to transform all of that, going to the gym, tackling issues that would have before triggered a relapse. I really felt changed. I guess hearing this woman call me a victim brought me right back down to feeling a failure.

OP, we don't tolerate victim blaming here on Mumsnet and we won't tolerate you thinking that you are somehow to blame for any of this (and I say this as gently as possible - the written word comes across as harsh at times).

HE abused his position of trust. YOU were in a vulnerable and precarious position. He was in the wrong here. You know it, that woman knows it. Don't let what others have done to you throw you back into the darkness. Fight this! You can do it.