So firstly a bit of background...
I have been with my husband for 15 years, since we were both 15.
He has a younger sister, 4 years younger than him, and since his parents are divorced he is very close with and protective of her.
I have always (I thought) been really close with her too, literally treated her like my own sister, when she needed somewhere to live it was me that she came to, and I asked my husband if she could live with us, which she did (rent free!) for a year. I cooked her meals, didn’t make a fuss when she used the last of the milk/ cheese / ketchup / anything else. She is friends with our friends, so we often socialise together, and she very often comes to ours for dinner on a weeknight, which I always accommodate, usually at last minute and feed her. I have always made clear that our home is her home, she always has a place to live. She recently went off on a big life trip and it was me that made arrangements to see her off, was her biggest cheerleader, bought her a good luck pressie and a well done pressie, both really thoughtful things that I spent a lot of time and money choosing. She was one of my three bridesmaids, and she had said to me a couple of times that if she ever got married she would just have a couple of bridesmaids and that I would obviously be one.
So now she is engaged and she has decided she is having 7 bridesmaids and I am not one.
Yet she also keeps saying she wants to get dates in the diary to go dress shopping etc, so clearly still wants me to help her.
I have no idea if I have done something to offend her, I am racking my brains. I have 3 emotions running around, I am really really hurt, as I said, I think of her as my sister so I wouldn’t have even contemplated her not being my bridesmaid or me not being hers. I feel angry as I have done so much for her, and supported her so much and now I feel like that was completely unappreciated. Also I feel really embarrassed, all our friends and my family will assume that I will be a bridesmaid, so I am going to have to tell them I am not and people are def going to be surprised, I know people are gona say ‘it doesn’t matter what people think’ but it does to me.
Am I overreacting??
If I tell my husband how I feel I don’t know how he will react as he literally never lets me say a bad word against her, but I genuinely struggled when the announcements got made not to burst into tears, and have now managed to sneak upstairs to bed early and had a good cry. And even if I did tell him, is there any point telling her as it can’t be changed now (it’s all been announced, and I am absolutely not going to be the sad little add on bridesmaid that got added because she made a fuss), so it will just cause upset / maybe an argument for no reason.
I also really really don’t want to spoilt her big day by being upset but feel like it’s gona be pretty hard to hide.
I really really don’t know what to do, how to react, help please!?
Sorry that was so long, thanks for reading xx