My SO is 12 years older than me and we have been together happily for 3 years.
He has a close female friend who he has known for at least 20 years, and seeing as they’ve known each other for so long, I have no issue with them being friends.
My other half was married before me and had kids. Was unhappy, left and here we are.
When me and him first started getting together, I noticed he had a picture saved of this female friend. Nothing inappropriate, just one of her face. I hit the walls and was really unhappy. He admitted he was wrong and deleted it. Said sorry and said it would never happen again. He hasn’t seen her for a while and that’s why he saved it.
Since then, nothing else has come up, and we’re years down the line and in a more serious position. He still speaks to her though and don’t get me wrong, the messages are basic and just seeing how each other are doing. Never anything inappropriate ( I know becusse I looked at them). Since I went mad that one time, he tends to hide their relationship from me and that they talk, which I suppose I do understand.
He ended up deleting her number, as he doesn’t want her to come between us. I told him not to, he just had to be open and not hide it, as I have no issue with them being mates. He was adamant that he wouldn’t speak to her anymore.
We’re together most of the time and he always opens his phone in front of me and nothing has really come through from her. Once day however, he left his phone out and I noticed he had messaged her, but without saving her number. It was her asking he was ok with her, as he had ignored some messages.
I didn’t want him to do that, and had previously explained I don’t mind them being friends, so I just left it.
The other day, he opened his phone and I noticed that he had 4 missed calls from her (her number is saved again). I raised it with him and he said she’s having issues with her other half and wanted to speak to him about it, but he was busy so missed them. He got defensive, but again I explained that it’s ok. I don’t mind them being mates.
He doesn’t act weird, or disappear and I not know where he is. They don’t message everyday and all the time, as he always opens his phone in front of me and I can only think of a handful of times where it’s been her messaging. Should I leave the picture issue in the past and just be happy with their friendship?