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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need to make a change

2 replies

Cantlivelikethis · 23/12/2017 10:31

Hello,

I’m looking for advice and to vent really, but I don’t know where to start. Please be kind with your answers as I’m very unhappy at the moment. I’ve name changed for this by the way.

I don’t love my husband anymore, I haven’t loved him for years in truth. Nothing drastic has happened, I’ve just got to the point where I’m sick of living in a relationship where we don’t talk about anything of importance, we barely talk at all once the kids have gone to bed, he isn’t supportive of me, doesn’t ask how my day was, doesn’t show me any kind of affection or interest in my hopes or aspirations for the future, does very little around the house, is snappy and irritable with me and the children for the smallest of things and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this but I don’t know how to go about leaving him and it would certainly be easier to stay as I am. I am unhappy in this house and hate the town we live in. He knows this but he likes it here, he’s just taken a new job in the town centre working long hours, so clearly doesn’t plan on moving elsewhere. It’s a small town with very little going on in the way of social activities, and I feel like I’m just existing at the moment rather than living.

I have no savings whatsoever, no friends, no one I can really turn to and I’ve two children, the youngest is still at primary school and I’d have to uproot them and I don’t know if I should stick it out until my youngest has left school or make the break now. I realise that compared to many my relationship is not bad and things could be so much worse than they are.

Obviously I am not asking anyone else to decide my future for me! I guess I just need to vent as I have no one to talk to in real life about how I feel, and I am just trying to make sense of how I really feel.

OP posts:
Squeegle · 31/12/2017 18:59

I guess you have to think about a plan.. you say you have no savings but are you entitled to part of the house? Do you think your husband would be surprised at what you say? I can’t advise of course, but you do sound very sad and unappreciated, and it sounds like you need to make some changes

If you speak to your husband and you don’t think he will change, then it will start to be time for you to make some plans about how you can change things.

LionelMessy · 31/12/2017 22:17

Sounds very frustrating for you,
marriage councelling worth a try?
Maybe make 2018 the year you plan a change. That's my plan too.

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