Am I wasting my time?

[Christmastwatman]

I've been seeing a man since April who I think an awful l lot of but I don't seem to be able to get close to him, no matter what I do. He keeps me totally separate from his friends, family and children and I'm always last on his priority list which results in me not seeing him regularly enough. I've caught him out a few times lying to me about who he is seeing /where he is going and Ive given up confronting him on this as he can't give a reason for lying and evades the issue. I know I'm wasting my time but I enjoy his company and keep thinking I can change him.

I've asked numerous times if this is a fwb situation for him and he always says no, he wants to build a relationship with me. He was divorced ten years ago and hasn't had a serious relationship since. I hate the thought of walking away and him suddenly being serious with someone else.

Here are a couple of useful reads:

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-men/

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-an-assclown/

I hate the thought of walking away and him suddenly being serious with someone else.

It will just prove he wasnt the right one for you.

If a man wants to be serious with you - he will be
If he makes you an option and not a priority, thats all you will ever be.
You can't change people, only your reaction to them. If yo aren't getting what you need from this man, move on and find someone who can/will make you a priority

Very sad.

You obviously has very low self esteem to think that this is all you deserve. Or you think he's too good for you, and so does he, so no point making an effort.

If he goes straight to someone else, then that doesn't matter. This relationship will never make you happy. Never, ever, ever.

You're wasting your time. Try to develop higher standards for 2018.

You knew the answer to this before you posted, me thinks. X

I think I did know the answer but kept doubting myself, thinking that I must be doing something wrong and if I could work out what then I could put it right. I've lost so much confidence through this. I'm scared to lose him even though I've never really had him to lose in the first place.

I've been involved with someone like this and if you hang around you will only do damage to yourself. This isn't about you, it's about him, nothing you can do will change him.

OP.. this guy is telling you who he is... he's is using you for his booty call.... but you're allowing him to use you and treat you like shit... if someone better came along he's drop you like a stone...get rid of this DICK ... you know this is going nowhere....

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong here. He’s been open & honest.

He sounds happy with how things are but, the person in any situation, who’s unhappy with the status quo, has to be the one to change things

He tells me he wants this to progress, his actions say otherwise. I've asked numerous times if he is wanting an open fwb situation and he always says no. He isn't open at all, it feels like getting blood out of a stone trying to find out how he feels about things.

Words are cheap.

TheFaerieQueene is correct OP...

His actions are what you need to pay attention too... not his cheap words..

Maybe it's not so much that he's not open, it's more that if he told you the truth you'd tell him to get to fuck so he keeps quiet.

He thinks you are OK, better than nothing if he's at loose end or fancies a shag, not a keeper obviously. He doesn't want FWB because you might be busy when he wants you and you might meet someone else who actually thinks you are brilliant.

Also, your desperation to have him had got to be a seriously nice ego boost.

What would be the point of telling you any of that?