Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

STD tests ABU

29 replies

user1497643032 · 23/12/2017 08:17

Ok, my relationship of over 13years failed 2months ago because of his lies & cheating.

  • He moved out (he said to his mum- but can’t be 100% sure because he lies).
  • now he wants to come back & I do want to give him another chance
  • but I want him to go for STD tests. ABU?
  • I also want him to put a tracker on his phone but he does not want to or ABU? WHERE CAN I SEND HIM TO HAVE STD tests DONE PLEASE. HELP
OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 23/12/2017 20:31

OP tracking someone’s movements IS fucked up and controlling. I’m sorry that upsets you, but it doesn’t make it untrue.

Don’t compromise who you are for a man who has already broken your trust once, don’t let him make you be this person. Leave, you will be ok, and one day you’ll even be happy again.

jbee1979 · 23/12/2017 21:04

It's not up to you to rebuild trust, you can't do that alone. It's up to him to prove he's committed and that he's not the dirty dick that you know he was. If you choose to take him back, HE bends over backwards, ties himself in knots, NOT YOU. he gets a STI test and you don't prompt him or book it, he willingly shows you the results. HE volunteers to the tracker, changes his number, anything to prove to you - without prompting. You need some counselling on your own I think, because the sick feeling I your stomach will never go away unless you seek to resolve why you want this lying piece of poo back in your life. I'm not judging, I've been there, there's not one piece of technology or test that is going to take the sick feeling away, because you KNOW he doesn't have it in him to be faithful and to add insult to injury, he's not even putting in the effort to lie and pretend he wants to prove himself to you ❤

category12 · 23/12/2017 21:48

What jbee1979 said. It needs to be coming from him - he should be falling over backwards to make amends, offering you reassurances and he could find out for himself where to get tested etc.

What is he doing? (Not saying, doing).

Being lied to and unable to trust someone is crazy-making, you just have to take a step back and look at what it's doing to you trying to police him.

fastfrank · 24/12/2017 05:24

You need to forget this guy and move on. You should value yourself more than to return to someone who has betrayed your trust to the extent that you feel you need to monitor his every move.

This is not an adult relationship. Normal people don't need to stalk each other. There are so many men out there who don't need to be stalked and who won't cheat on you - go and find one of them instead of wasting your time on this piece of shit.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page