Is this depression? What do i do?

[ChaCha]

I think that my mother is suffering from depression. What are the tell-tale signs? She stayed with me before and after the birth of DC2 and was a great help to us all, was really sad when she left but she promised to visit every other week and never did. This was 2 months ago. She will go for days without answering the phone, makes excuses for it, uses text messages (vague at that) instead of phoning me, I ask her when we can meet (even making the 3 bus trips to her with 2 small children) and she doesn't reply. I felt a bit hurt a few days ago and told her i'd be calling (via text) we spoke and she said that she'd booked a trip abroad with her DH as her FIL is ill and that she'd like to see us before she goes - as much as i want to see her feel like it's on her terms now and the fact that i waited for her to see us for so long doesn't count. Am i being over sensitive? We built a good relationship over the time she stayed with us, we had been out of touch for years before but it seems when we get close something happens. She has lots of baggage, we could easily write a book on her life, if someone is suffering from depression how do you treat them? Should i just be patient and go along with everything, take it as it come so to speak? Just not sure how to deal with this. I don't believe it's us as such, just that she cant deal with relationships at times. Anyone?
Also, how would you be around a close family member if they told a lot of 'stories' which you know are untrue but perhaps told to make their life a bit more colourful? Thanks

Maybe the relationship is too full on for her at the moment.
If you have not had contact with each other for years then she may need more time to get used to you in her life and build it up gradually?

You might be right. We were out of touch for many years but slowly over the past 5 we have managed to build up a good relationship, even moreso since i've had children. We had a great time when she was here pre-post DC's birth.
I forgot to mention that she'll be going for an op on return from her trip, i know that she's worried but she's sort of shut me out from that too.
Maybe that's it - just too much for her. thanks.

My dh currently has depression and has shut everyone he loves out of his life. Just says he can't 'cope'. I really don't know much about depression but from what you say, and my own experience, I think perhaps it causes people to have difficulty maintaining relationships and can make them very insular and isolated.

Not sure what you can do other than encourage her to get help (AD's, counselling etc) and perhaps just accept that is the way she is and until she gets herself better, there is not much more you can do. Just enjoy the times you do have together? Could you find a time to have a good talk to her about it? She may even be glad of your support.

As for the 'stories' - that must be so frustrating. Is it because the person feels ashamed of their own life? Or perhaps envious of yours and wants to make their own sound more interesting? Or are nervous and just want to have 'something' to say?
Sounds like it's all about attention seeking tbh. I think people like this are very difficult to change. Perhaps do what you would do with a child. Focus on the things you know to be true and direct a lot of discussion and attention on those. Take everything else with a pinch of salt and ignore it! No point telling stories if nobody listens!