Somebody here celebrating Christmas or New Years Eve without hubby?

[ConfusedWife1234]

How do you cope? As I explained in my other thread mine has mental health stuff (diagnosed with ptsd, not sure if it is the right diagnosis or he has something else, cause typically was he has is not as bad as PTSD) and he is doing fine most of the time. It is not like I have a horrible life but he cannot cope with Christmas and especially New Year’s Eve. Last year he ended up playing video games instead of joining us and it made me very sad.
We are gonna celebrate with relatives and there is the chance he will not join but gonna play video games (while physically in the same house, but in another room and mentally away from us).
I‘ll try to react if if he was not there. I‘ll just pretend he is in France for his job or whatever.

I‘ll guess it is silly but Christmas Andy New Years Eve means a lot for me and it is so sad to be with a hubby who in fact does not like it.

So sad we cannot really celebrate it together.

I've been with DP for ten years and we have never had a Xmas together. We have children in different countries and spending time with them comes first.

NYE is actually our anniversary but we've not spent that together for the past 7 years as I always work right through that period.

How do I cope? By having a sense of perspective and prioritising the people that I actually can be with at these times.
And by the knowledge that there are many people who don't have their families or any security in the form of a safe home. The burden they face is far worse than mine.

We’ve been invited to a friend’s house for New Year, my DH is refusing to go, I don’t want to stay in, so thinking about going on my own. He has anxiety and doesn’t like socialising, a fact that he’s only recently told me about, we’ve been together 25 years! Though it makes sense now unfortunately. I don’t see why I should stay in just because he wants to, as he won’t come out with me and do what I want to do.
I’m sad that we can’t just join in like other couples. At least your DH will be in the same house as you, vaguely there with you. I know my DH is not going to be impressed with me going out.

Thanks for your advice and for sharing @both of you.

Meandyouandyouandme, so your husband had anxiety for 25 years and only recently spoke about it. It must have been really tough for him to struggle with that for so long and how brave of him to finally speak about it. I think that this is really difficult for a man.

Like you I think it makes no sense when two people (plus the children in our case) do not celebrate just because one person does not want to... and he agrees on that.

Still I am sad for him because he is gonna be sad and frightened while other people celebrate and I will miss having him with me.

I'm without DH for New Year's. We're going to Mum's and then he's coming home on the 27th to do some bits to the house. I'll be at Mum's with DS and will be 36 weeks pregnant.

It makes me sad to be without him because I always tend to take stock on NYE. However, I understand why we've made the decision to be apart.

Thanks for sharing.
Stupid question: Do any of you have „rituals“ like... dunno... giving your hubby some little present if you part.
I always do this when my hubby is away on a job. He needs to travel a lot related to his work. Last year I sid not like it when he went to play video games and started quarreling.
This year I will be nicer and maybe give him a little present and tell him „goodbye, see you later, when you feel like it“.
He plays video games for a looooong time.

I'm not spending New Year's Eve with DP as I am the one with mental health problems. He's going to stay with friends overnight and I'm staying home. I have paranoid schizophrenia and sleep a lot because of my meds. I'm lucky to be awake past 9:30pm, don't drink and just wouldn't enjoy a New Year's Eve party so there's no point in me going. Much better for DP to go on his own so he doesn't miss out.

My partner is working all Xmas. I will be a long way away visiting family. It's not my ideal Xmas. My partner and I went on a mini break early December, which we enjoyed together. We both have time off together at New year.