If you had a first date...

[bellareina]

And you had a lot of fun, laughed loads and felt a connection with a man but had an inkling that a man could be bad for you... would you see him again?

Are you saying being with any man - or this particular man, could be bad for you?

In what way bad?

This particular man.

Bad how?

Just a vibe you got of them, that maybe they're not the most set kind of man, but they seem to want you believe they are.

Would you see them again?

Sorry serious

Bad for you in what way?

If he has a nasty cold and you're prone to chest infections so are worried he'll land you in hospital then I'd say go for it but wait until he's better.

If you've possibly seen signs of controlling behaviour or another relationship red flag then I'd say listen to your gut becasue it knows things a heck of a lot sooner than your head and could save you a lot of pain.

Huge cross post as it a slow typer.

I'd leave it I think. A vibe should be listened to.

Well that’s very difficult to say, and very much depends on your past and your previous engagements. Some people are very anxious and see the bad in nothing. Some people have very strong gut feelings and are generally right. I think if you think this bad feeling will hover over the relationship ... then he may be a very nice man but it would still ruin what you had or he’s a very bad man and you’d eventually find out.

I would trust my instinct ("inkling" as you say). I would not see him again.

If I thought someone was a bad person either treated people like shit or criminal acts etc I would go there. But I find those qualities unattractive. If my inkling was based on a strange comment then that would prob be enough for me but if I hadn’t anything to go on then I would try and give them the benefit of the doubt as people can surprise you.

Is this based on anything that was said or done?

Your instincts are how the mind picks up on unconscious cues both mentally and physically

If they are prodding you it's for a reason, I always listen to mine and i always advise the same

Trust your instincts and walk away.

God I wished I had trusted my gut and walked away, I had those feelings that something wasn't right from date two. . Instead I just thought I'm being silly, I like him and carried on seeing him.
Biggest mistake of my life, i remember thinking this as i sat in a police station after he had assualted me. I actually said it to the officer, i always knew something wasnt right, and he smiled and said, yep we hear that alot.
Woman's intuition is strong, and usually correct. How many times have your senses let you down before. Besides if you seriously feel like he is trying to look like something he isn't then it's probably just a case of you seeing through his bullshit. Let your head rule on this occasion and walk away.

I still don't understand what you mean by not the most set kind of man

You mean he just wants fun at yr expense and you want a responsible committed decent man!

I think set was supposed to say serious?

If bad in controlling, hurtful etc then listen to your inkling and walk.
If bad as in not serious as in oh he might not want what I want, might just bel looking for fun I'd give it another date and be open about what I want and see what happens

I think first dates are hard and you don't always see the real person

I'd trust your instinct, that's what it's there for!

No, quit while you're ahead. You're not invested in him yet so it's easy to do.

Folllow your instinct. If you have doubts then don't do there

Do you mean a player?

I’d see him again but I’ve always been a menace to my own destiny

What’s the inkling based on? Must have been something he said.

It's something bad enough for you to have picked up on it AND post here about it.
So - run!
Although, you may find advice more helpful if you actually say what the issue is.