I really value friendships and do not have much family I can interact with. Like attracts like, I often befriend people who had a tough childhood and have issues just like me (we can sense each other apparantly) so how can I adjust and find healthier/more healed company?
I have struggled with depression, anxiety and trauma for years and during this time, the friends I have found and managed to keep are all people with similar problems. We have met through support groups etc.
They are nice people and we have had a lot of fun together but now that I’ve healed quite a bit, I really want some more stable friends as well.
And, I’m really tired of them
-Frequently cancelling in the very last second
- Showing up in a foul mood without thinking of how it affects me/others, complaining about the event I invited them too
-Me constantly being the one having to initiate and organise get togethers, and hosting, despite struggling myself
- Things like giving b-day presents and not recieving, them being flippant about it ”oh I just spent all my money on clothes shopping last week lol”)
They are not bad people, they are just not well and focus more inwards than outwards.
I act very patient when such things happen and do not criticise since I know they have it tough and struggle a lot. Bringing it up in a nice way doesn't work either as the reaction is either them being hurt because they were already sad or no change.
However since this is so constant and it is the majority of my little friends group acting like this it makes me feel not valued or respected as a friend.
How would you all handle that?
Also, I would love to meet some more mentally healthy people to be friends/partners with, I want to keep growing and being healthy and meet with others who are open to enjoying life and not stuck in their depressed bubbles.
Got any advice?