I'm expecting my first child early next year. And I'm apprehensive about the dynamic within my family.
My parents live a few hours' away so visits have to be overnight. Currently they probably come and stay with me twice a year, & I go and stay with them twice. I find the visits quite stressful. I get on well with my mum, but my dad is a very tricky character - to cut a long story short he is extremely introverted to the point that sometimes he won't actually speak to me, despite not having seen me for months. He's always been this way so I know now what to expect, but it still hurts and visits to or from my parents often end with me feeling quite down. I also have a sibling who still lives in my parents' home town and who is very similar to my dad. I can't remember the last time we laughed or had fun together as a family.
As I say I get on with my mum, but she won't do anything without my dad (and often my sibling too) so seeing mum on her own is not really an option (although I would love to from time to time).
I do love my family and they are all good people, but their company doesn't make me feel 'good' if that makes sense. I know it's not all about me, and I do make the effort, but I am a bit fed up of coming away from these visits feeling hurt, sad and insignificant.
DH gets on fine with my family, as in it's all civil, but I think he finds the situation with my Dad and sibling quite awkward. So sometimes when I visit them I go alone, as I feel it's unfair on DH.
I moved away from my family at 18 and have made a good life for myself. I have a lovely DH, good job, and some nice friends. I do have some health problems, so life is not perfect, but overall it's good and I'm generally a happy type.
Things are going to come to a head, as I know when my child is born my parents (especially my mum, but as I say her and my dad come as a pair) is going to want to spend loads of time with their first grandchild. Also as I mentioned, due to the distance between us visits do need to be overnight. WOuld be some much easier if they lived nearby and we could just to quick visits.
I love my family. I want to want to spend time with them. I want to enjoy spending time with them. I just don't know how to manage the situation. Any advice appreciated.