He doesn't want another baby

[Whatyouneedtoknow]

Agreed with partner of almost 8 years at the start of this year that we would try for another baby by the end of the year.

I came off my anti depressants in June as recommended by GP while ttc. Thought that would give me 6months to adjust and get ready. In these 6months i have been to hell and back and struggled beyond belief not being on my tablets.

Stopped my pill, this is my first week off it.
Partner told me last night when i mentioned it that he no longer wants to have another baby...EVER, he has felt that way for a while but didnt want to tell me.
I said well im not going back on my pill.
He said well we just wont have sex then.

This was last night and we had sex this morning, initiated by HIM knowing fine well im not on anything. Which has just wrecked my head!

I then mesaaged him while i was out today and said are you still feeling the same as last night about everything. He said 'pretty much'

I am totally destroyed by this. Dont know whether to just remain off my pill, but what kind of situation is that.

Im 31, hes 35. We have one dd 3 and he has ds from previous relationship who is 14.

ButtMuncher
You are so very right.
I feel like i will be the only person to have ever left the father of my child but i might be doing more damage by staying.

Does the doctor know how you've been getting on since stopping your medication? Obviously it's best to avoid medication in pregnancy if possible, but ultimately it depends on the balance of benefit/risk.

Have you spent much time in your life off the pill, and how were you then? It can certainly affect mental health in some women, so it's interesting you mentioned that.

If you're not going back on the pill then do make sure you are sorted with other contraception.

If you are set on having another baby, there may be options in the future whether that's a new partner, a sperm donor etc. But having unprotected sex with a man who doesn't want a baby is not the way forward.

You'd be far from the first person to leave the father of their child.

This man is no good for you and probably your mental health would be better without him. Make plans and leave.

You really don't want to bring a baby into this, if think seriously about leaving. A new baby likely to exacerbate all your problems and he will resent you becauee he doesnt want it, and make more trouble. So would you rather be a single mum with a young child and a baby or leave now, find someone who respects you and have a baby with them? Your daughter can still have a sibling, just with someone who wants it and is supportive.

How selfish can you get? You hate the guy, are struggling mentally but think its okAy to bring a baby into this craphole?

He's not the only one looking bad in this.

In your shoes I would get an emergency coil fitted ASAP and I would go back to the GP about you ADs. Your OH doesn't sound very kind. Seeing you struggling all that time and saying nothing is heartless.
Realistically how would you cope with both kids on your own if he were to get you pregnant? He could leave anyway, except your stuck holding the baby.
Your wants do not trump his but he is being irresponsible and very very stupid. Think of yourself OP and the child you already have

Do not get pregnant.

He won't magically be happy with another baby "when it comes". He won't magically be a better partner.

Neither of you would be wise to have another child with each other.

You say he'd selfish and you aren't so keen on him... he doesnt want another child... why even consider bringing a child into this unstable relationship.

It does sound like emotional abuse. You can do better OP. Believe it.

Right, I was feeling really sympathetic until your last 2 sentences

My initial reply to your OP can be ignored, your second post was one hell of a drip feed about the state of your relationship.

Don't you dare say the next move was his to make! You are every bit as culpable as him if you get pregnant.

You either sort out contraception, or you stop having sex with him.

Do not bring another baby into this car crash

Get some real life support - Women's Aid? - now that you are starting to recognise abuse.

But FFS don't deliberately get pregnant because "I told him I wasn't on the pill. It was his move, his fault".

I have told him i am not going back on the pill. The next move was his to make.

Er no, this isn’t a game, do not bring a child into this mess and if you do, you will be equally responsible.

What support and contingencies were put in place when you went off your meds, there’s a reason why you take them and this is exactly the type of situation where you should go back on them. It’s hard when the blinkers come off but you can’t go back to pretending that your relationship is ‘good enough’ for the child you have, let alone one that you don’t. Right now your MH should be the priority and you are the only one who can prioritise it.

You need support ASAP before both of your irresponsible behaviour makes a bad situation, even worse.

I dont feel strong just now i feel broken.
Should make a new post about leaving as this has quickly turn into a much bigger issue.

Yes. Because you need you to be on your anti-depressans to feel atrong. Do you have some you can start taking today? If not, do go to your GP before Christmas if possible.