I have no plans over the festive period and it makes me feel sad! Anyone else with absolutely no social life?

[cupcakesmakeyouhappy]

I have 3 dc's so I'm not alone alone, and they make it truly magical but I cant help but feel, it highlights how lonely I really am. Life is busy throughout the year so hardly notice although a social life would be nice.

Everyone is out having festive drinks, works parties, family get togethers. I have no plans. When people ask me what are my plans. I don't have any. I feel embarrassed. Why is that? I want to say.....chridtmas shopping with my mum, Im visiting family, out with friends.....Maybe embarrassed is the wrong word but I cant admit it as I feel quite sad saying it out loud. I know there are people so so lonely this Christmas and I have my dc's. Christmas just makes me feel a bit sad as well as happy.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a sahm also to three children. Work from home when I can. I'm not that close to my family. Was close to my in laws but my relationship ended in November.

That said, I'm taking myself out on Friday with a mum from school. Maybe you could try asking people to make plans? That's what I did.

I'm a single mum who runs her own business on my own - I have no staff just work for myself. I don't live near my family and have made friends through literally if I'm out just speaking to people and joining groups in which I can meet people. I think life is what you make it and sure it's damn hard when you have kids. But why not hire a babysitter once in a while or get family to help if that's at all possible. Could you maybe in the New Year get a part time job, even a one day a week voluntary position that gets you meeting people? Even if it's a couple of hours a day. I think it's so important to make the effort to go out there, people don't just come to you and especially these days people are so cautious to be friendly with each other.

Tonight i'm going to a gym class that i'm terrified of going to alone. It's either that or sit at home doing nothing on my own as my ex has our children. Maybe i'll hate the class, but sometimes you got to force yourself out there. Life really is what you make it. Make 2018 more exciting for yourself. xx

You've got to make the effort throughout the year to build relationships. So invite people over for drinks or dinner, invite them to the pub, casual invites this is how how you build friendships.

So, school mums, work colleagues, folks at the gym, neighbours, whatever, get chatting then issue casual invites to those you like. 💐

Oh, OP, it's so easy to just get on with work, housework and children, but it's not healthy! I do exactly the same, and I feel quite lonely. I work from home, so no office party.

Why don't you make it s New Years resolution to join a couple of Meetup groups? I went to my first in November this year, they were all very lovely, unfortunately I haven't been since, but I am going to make myself go again in the New Year. I also go swimming/ in the sauna, and it's surprisingly social! I think if I stick to these two things, I might make some friends.

Same here! I have no plans over Christmas and it always makes me feel a bit sad. Social media doesn’t help does it? I work part time in a really quiet office and don’t have friends there. Outside of work I have 1 friend who I see every couple of months. I’ve spent the entire festive season with no drinks/meals/nights out etc.
I have 2 dds and like you said Christmas is amazing with them but sometimes I wish I had a group of friends I could get dressed up with and go out and have a laugh with!

Same here. It's just me and dd. We're not close to family, friends have their own family things going on. And I don't have many friends here anyway, plus people more likely to go away for Christmas now too, 2 friends have gone away to sunnier climes for Christmas.

Rest of the year is slightly better but I find it hard to make friends as I get older, especially as health not great and don't currently work (hoping that may change in 2018).

I think there's more like us than people care to admit

Thankyou everyone 😊
I know I'm not alone in feeling alone. It's nice to have MN to chat.
It's my own fault for not trying to make friends. I just feel that everyone already has their own friends if you know what I mean.
I'm a student nurse so life is busy and I'm not in the same place long enough to make friends through work. I signed up to meet up a couple of months ago but the meeting are quite a distance. I know life is what you make It, I'm generally a happy person, it's just this time of year. It highlights that I don't have a close family or close friends to share special times with. My dc's make Christmas for me but it isn't healthy not to have an adult social life. Throughout the year I ignore it.
I'm definitely going to make some changes in the new year.
Ps good luck meow, very brave. I have started going to classes too.

It is harder to make friends as you get older, isn't it? And this time of year it is hard. And I agree it's not healthy to not have adult social life. But it's hard to fit it in when you have DC, although of course it does get easier as they get older.

I am not English, and I realised I have not celebrated Christmas in my native country Denmark for 9 years now. It doesn't really bother me, I see my family other times of the year, but this year I am splitting up with DH (amicably), and that combined with Brexit I find myself being homesick for the first time in many years.

I’m the same, single mum, no family nearby. I have my kids Christmas morning then they’re off to their dads for a few days. All my friends and distant family know I’ll be alone, nobody has offered to spend time with me and tbh if nobody is asking I’m not confident enough to invite myself.

I’m very very sad about it but am going to try and use the time to eat and drink loads, reorganise my house and watch loads of films!
I have been wavering about getting back with an unsuitable ex so am trying o remind myself how much more pleasant it will be without his mood swings, lies, secret drinking and drug taking.... he’s of course ‘learned’ from his mistakes and knows we could be so much happier now and really wants to spend Christmas Day with me, even rejecting his own very close family to be with me.

It’s hard for me to hear about everyone’s plans but I’ve made the decision that even being on my own Christmas Day is better than letting somebody treat me like a mug in exchange for my hospitality, my food, my drink and my beautiful cosy home.
I haven’t been alone at Christmas for about twenty years and the last time was because I was working night shifts over Christmas and slept through it.
I hope you find away to enjoy the festive period.

OP, I feel really sad reading your post, you sound lovely. Really try and make an effort to meet some new people in 2018 and I’m sure this time next year you’ll have a few Christmas ‘dos’ to go to!

Jellyhead- please don’t go back to your ex, that sounds horrendous and just isn’t worth it for the sake of feeling lonely over a couple of days!

Just a suggestion but could you find a church group or charity doing a social for the elderly or homeless and volunteer?

A lonely neighbour who would appreciate an evening visit and a Christmas cracker?
Sometimes it can help to Don a santa hat and put your efforts into those less fortunate?...at least u will feel you have achieved something of worth...

I'm so sad to hear you are feeling lonely too. [Christmas hug]
Please, jelly it will pass, the feeling of loneliness, it's the festive period, when we see families getting together that makes it harder. Don't go back to the people that knocked us down, is what I think. Try and think of the reasons you are not together. It's hard to be alone but not as hard as living with people that make us feel really alone.
Cook yourself a feast! Wine, movies and chocolate.
Thankyou 😊 I felt sad writing it but so lovely to chat on here. I really am going to make an effort to make friends and more of a social life next year.

Ps Yes, I have thought about this. I feel the run up to Christmas has been so busy, I didn't get chance to look into it. A lovely thought! Maybe next year!

OP the funny thing is, there are actually loads of people out there who want to make more friends but don't quite know how-you are not alone! It may be a bit late for this Christmas but why not start now trying to get out a bit more?
My advice is just to try lots of new things. The more you try, the less scary it becomes to try something new.
I joined a walking group on Meetup. It was amazingly easy just to chat to people in the group while strolling along. Most people are there to meet new friends so you all have that in common. I would recommend it to anyone.

I joined meet up but everywhere was too far, unfortunately. It's such a great idea though. I think, when I qualify in a year, I will look into starting single mum (dad) meet up 😊
I really am going to make an effort in the new year.
Thankyou 😊

Thoughts to everyone feeling lonely xxx and there is some good practical advice on this thread.

I have lots of friends & evening social stuff going on; when you don't have kids it's very easy to make and keep friends because you just have more time!

At this time of year, I sometimes think how I'd love to have a cosy Christmas with excited kids on Christmas morning, going to school plays, making creative stuff etc. Christmas can make us feel everyone else's lives are better than ours xxx

I did plan to volunteer at our local homeless shelter but I reconsidered as I know my little beans will be up Uber early and because of my illness I could end up quite fatigued and feeling even more shitty by Boxing Day.
I usually go to a friend’s on Boxing Day but her partner is being an absolute cunt in numerous ways, blatantly favouring another woman over her as well as being psychologically abusive.
My friend is devastated but currently putting up with his cuntery as she says ‘ I can’t be as brave as you jellyhead ‘ e.g to be a single parent. Which is her choice but I can’t bear to be in the same room as her partner so really I’ve scuppered my own Christmas by being so judgemental, plus she’s told him what I think so awkward all round!
Also two close friends have had family bereavements very recently so I could not consider gate crashing their family’s day and I am grateful that at least I don’t have to deal with something like they’re going through.