I'm going to lose my kids

[youokayhun]

I'm stuck in the middle of a ridiculous battle with my ex about basically getting a 50/50 arrangement written in stone by the courts to prevent further animosity....I've had the cafcass report and it is so hugely against me I don't know how I'll ever walk away with my kids. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't understand how a system
Can be so flawed

Is he asking for more than 50% op? If not then I can't see the judge allotting him more than he has actually requested. I would do as another pp has said and agree to the test but request he has the same. In respect of your DP, I completely understand that you don't want to go ahead with this but your ex will be rubbing his hands because it could be interpreted that you're hiding something. If this was done then it couldn't be brought up again unless anything changed, and presumably since you've said your ex has raised these concerns maliciously then nothing will happen to warrant further checks. If your DP is willing of course!

It might feel like you're letting him 'win' but it could backfire on you in respect of custody and also the longevity in how long this will go on as he is in a position to raise these 'concerns' over and over if they're not concluded, as you have already experienced with the drug testing.

It is normal
If there are hair strand tests to do another one 3 months or so afterward. Ime of family courts anyway.
Hope your ex is bearing costs!

Family court is just the most soul destroying, procedure driven, box ticking shithole. Jump through every hoop they put in front of you, not for him, but for your kids. Tell yourself over and over that it’s for them, all for them. Any lack of or perceived lack of cooperation won’t go well for you.

Op take a look on Lone parent threads. There was a parent on there who challenged the CAFCASS report and won.. maybe worth a read.

Thanks starlight I'll take a look at that!!!

His solicitor has actually requested that I pay half the costs for the hair strand test also I'm furious.

One issue I do have is that I am certain a "friend" put something in my drink on my birthday last month, which has also made me question if he has ever done that before. I don't have a problem with drugs. My ex actually knows that I disagree with them because HE used to do them occasionally and i used to hate it. I'm just furious that I'm even being put in this position based on hearsay

Play the long game here. Co-operate and do the drugs tests - pay for them if you have to. Men like him often threaten to go for full custody but judges are pretty good at seeing through that type.

It really depresses me that court time and taxpayers' money is taken up by this sort of vindictive, childish nonsense.

Insist he does the tests too. Then you each pay for one set. Do jump through the hoops, however utterly infuriating they may be.
Unfortunately the courts still seek to be a bit oblivious to how bullies misuse the system to continue to push their exes around. You just have to play ball and do everything by the book though.