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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hang up his washing or walk around with crinkle wrinkle man?!

21 replies

Sealsarewaterdogs · 20/12/2017 19:44

Our washing machine is broken, DP has taken his stuff to the launderette for a wash and tumble dry. Thanks for leaving my stuff, I don't need clothes anyway

He did this last week, partially tumbled dryed his clothes as he didn't want to wait around, shoved them into a netted laundry bag. Put it in a corner of the room and left it for 48 hours. Resulting in everything being 10/10 crumpled. He has no intention of ironing them and has just been wearing said crumpled clothes which is up to him tbh. But embarassing in front of his family as it looks like we don't have our sh*t together.

He made the trip again today, I said 10 times. Fold them up when they come out of the tumble dryer and hang them up on the radiator if need be or straight on a hanger. He replied "yes" and I believed I was conversing with a capable human?

He came back 3 hours ago with everything scrumpled in the net bag why fold things when you can have scrumple texture , the net bag is sitting in the hall way right now. He's scrolling through Twitter on his phone a few metres from it.

Is anyone elses DP domesticated? How do I get myself one? If any of you have a Neanderthal other half, please share your un-domesticated stories so I don't end up taking my one back to where i found him Xmas Hmm

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 20/12/2017 19:51

You leave him to have crumpled clothes, if that's what he ends up with, it's his decision.

If anyone comments you can say that it was his decision after going to the laundrette and maybe have a laugh about it. It's no reflection on you.

twiney · 20/12/2017 20:02

Sorry I cant stop laughing at your title. Crinkle wrinkle man....excellent OP 😂😂😂

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 20/12/2017 20:05

Why on earth would you do it for him?? He is an adult. He knows how to do it, he is chosen not to. They are his clothes. It’s his choice to be wrinkle crinkle man. Would you accept him straightening your hair if he felt it was wrinkly and you were happy with it wavy?

KCWW · 20/12/2017 20:07

Leave him to it. You aren't his mum!

AnyFucker · 20/12/2017 20:08

Why the obsession with your partner's laundry ? Confused

KCWW · 20/12/2017 20:08

And my dh irons his own clothes more than me! Xmas Grin

DandelionAndBedrock · 20/12/2017 20:11

DP took a jumper out of the drawer. A jumper that had previously been ironed but had been shoved in a drawer by him and looked ridiculous. He stomped off to work muttering about things not needing ironing.

He came home saying his secretary had asked him what had happened to his jumper, then said "all the other secretaries were laughing at me for looking scrumpled so I spent the day in my jacket."

He irons/folds carefully now Grin.

TheCraicDealer · 20/12/2017 20:20

Leave him to it. So much of this concern harks back to a time when women judged other women for not "looking after" their fellas. That time is long gone. If the clothes are clean and are appropriate for where we're going my bother ends there.

NB I don't iron, apart from shirts (which I avoid wearing because, ironing) and my old school colleague can't get her head round it. But I must've lost all my fucks to give in my non-existent ironing pile.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2017 20:20

His crinkles; his lookout.

I firmly believe that if women rejected their conditioning and learned how not to give a fuck, the patriarchy would be in serious trouble.

ILoveDolly · 20/12/2017 20:25

His business. If seeing in-laws, make sure to point out he did his own laundry Grin

BMW6 · 20/12/2017 20:51

His choice.
You are not his mum.

caringdenise009 · 20/12/2017 20:59

He went to the launderette and only washed his clothes,not yours? Do you have separate laundry baskets or did he sort through and discard yours from the pile? How selfish!

LadyLapsang · 20/12/2017 23:17

If he wants to go round looking like a tramp then that's up to him. Did he look like that when you were dating?

GrooovyLass · 20/12/2017 23:23

If he'd washed your clothes then maybe, just maybe, you should sort his washing for him. But if he's so ignorant as to only take his own stuff to the launderette then I hope he gets festive mould on his boxers.

SummatFishyEre · 20/12/2017 23:23

Let him sort it out. Id probably be thankful the selfish arse wasn't taking my stuff to the laundrettes if that's how he's going to treat the clothes!

BackforGood · 20/12/2017 23:57

Not sure why him choosing to let his clothes get crumpled reflects on you - I'd just make that clear to anyone in the family who commented.

More of a concern to me would be the fact that, in the scenario of not having a working washing machine that you describe, any adult would take just their own clothes when going to the launderette, and not taking some essentials for everyone in the house Confused. Who thinks like that ???

PushingThru · 21/12/2017 00:32

Can't believe the stuff I read on here sometimes. He took his own fucking clothes and left yours?

FizzyGreenWater · 21/12/2017 00:33

'Who thinks like that?!'

Crinkle wrinkle man, that's who 🤣

babycow38 · 21/12/2017 00:44

Good grief woman! That's nothing on my fams clothes, piles of washing I've just done, left for ages to go where the washing goes to die, then two days later comes back in the washing pile, I wash it then left in the pile to die, I just gave up a long time ago and do mine, my sanity is so good now 😀

Sealsarewaterdogs · 21/12/2017 22:37

Haha thank you for the replies. Some of them made me chuckle, glad it's not just mine who's undomesticated!

For an update- I didn't touch the bag in the end, I guess that's another few weeks of wrinkle crinkle man. I've taken some of your advice and I'm going to let it go over my head if his family make any comments! They helped produce this human, all crinkles are on their head not mine! Haha

He is a selfish crinkle for not taking my stuff but after seeing what happened to these, I'm glad he didn't Lol I won't be taking his next time and I'll see how he likes it when everyone in the house only do things for themselves Grin

OP posts:
greenberet · 22/12/2017 09:46

This has made me laugh but is a pretty sad reflection of our world and how we interact with each other - I think you need to have a think about taking him back to the cave he came from!

Who does the washing when the machine is working - you i bet? Making sure you hang his clothes - even iron them? Why did I decide to do the washing - had you been saying washing needs doing, washing needs doing - you know as us women do when we have a 101 things to do x 10,000 cos it's Xmas.

So he picked up on this but in his head it translates to oh yeah I better do my washing - doesn't even enter into his head to do yours - because it goes back to when his mum would have constantly been reminding him to do something that he didn't want to do And so when he does it he does it with the least amount of effort and as quickly as possible - hence the bag dumped by the door

No doubt his mother would have stepped in at this point and finished off what he did -so using the washing as an example hung it up ironed it etc and so he learns what he can get away with - where was his DF in his life - did his dm do everything for him too?

The hing is you then have all these woman saying leave it let him go out as crinkle wrinkle man - but why should you - why can't he enough self respect and respect for you to iron his bloody shirt - becausecat the end of the day his head is filled with shite - you mentioned he is on twitter - I'm not sure if it is our obsession with phones that is amplyfying how dysfunctional we are or our parenting model or what.

It obviously bothers op - she's picked up on his selfishness by not taking her washing - his lack of respect by not bothering to iron - if nobody else picks him up on it like the laughing secs - who jolts him into realisation - he won't listen to gf because in his head he hears nagging mother or wife - so he is being defiant that he had to do his own washing

I bet op if you look around there will be plenty more of this -

I'm talking here as a Dm of a 16 year old boy - I can see no difference between him & your Dp -ask him to do something have to ask 20 times - then shout - whoa where has this psycho mother come from _ calm down woman - he's ignored 17 times and only really heard the last 2 mainly - then when he does it as quickly as possible because I've interrupted his phone chat, crap whatever he's looking at that warrants phone being glued to his hand.

Has it been done correctly I doubt it - sometimes if I have the energy I will call him back as many times as poosible for him to do it right - more nagging mother - other times I do it - cur the I can get away with this the fairy.s been

My Dd also 16 is better - she does more things that benefit all - i.e. All the washing - so is this male/ female brain - males generally more selfish or because she hears me moaning and really wants to help

I say all this because I've just gone though a really acrimonious divorce - I know this is a bit light hearted but it is an indication of the underlying dynamics of your relationship.

You don't indicate how old you are op or how long in your relationship - I did this for 20 years why because it's female brain? Nurture? I thought we wre working as a team - hell where we.? I was still his mother until he decided he could ditch me for a new model - whether she will change him who knows but he still expects me to take full responsibility for his kids - so I doubt it - sorry to dampen your spirits op but a little glimpse into the future maybe?

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