Weird present from a colleague

[southernharp]

I was left a Christmas present by a colleague today. She didn't give it to me herself, rather got someone else to drop it in and leave it for me. I haven't worked with her long and she doesn't work everyday. Actually I hardly know her. I do know that she moves in a social circle of people I have known for some time and who don't like me at all.

So the present was a self help book called leadership and self deception - getting out of the box. The gist of it seems to be that problems you might have with relationships are likely to be founded in your own attitude and the way you treat people. Now my year has been shit, with my ex having an affair, my marriage breaking down, quite a few work issues, my much loved boss leaving after nine years - basically lots of relationship issues. I am somewhat confounded by this. Shall I return the book?shall I bin it?

Re-wrap it and put it on her desk.
Job done!!!

It was my last day today, so I'm not going back. My friend says I should put it in the post to her, perhaps with the word Really?on the front?

Yes that would be the best idea!

I did a little online digging and discovered that your present is Mormon (Church of Latter Day Saints) propaganda. So rather than trying to make a snide comment on behalf of people who dislike you, your colleague is trying to convert you.

Personally I would treat any book with such an annoying cliche in its title with the contempt it deserves i.e. I'd take it straight to my nearest charity shop.

And if you happen to bump into your ex-colleague then engage in conversation with her until she starts trying to convert you, at which point you can ask her about the Church of Latter Day Saints' ban on black people becoming priests, which was only rescinded in 1978. Mention that there are various biblical passages that suggest that Jesus was black, so surely that ban suggests that the church makes no sense whatsoever.

She won't like that.

Shred it and put the paper back on her desk

Wow. That's interesting Lino.. actually I think she doesn't know this is anything to do with the Mormon Church. I might have to enlighten her.

Really Lino? I'm not sure that calling someone out about a 40 year old ruling is particularly clever. I'm catholic and we still don't allow female priests. It doesn't take away from my faith.

op that sounds like a shitty gift. I'd pop it in the charity shop or, if you've got an open fire, in there. Maybe it came with good intentions.

Send her a Bible.

You need to send her a copy of "How to win friends and influence people"

Or "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" just to confuse her.

Or set up a subscription for Watchtower

The fun you could have...

I'd have to send it back with a comment. 'Have a blessed Christmas and enjoy the book'

What good intentions More? The book's message is you have a problem with the way you treat people. I am not perfect but I try to treat people with respect and kindness without being a doormat.

Wow. There is a note in it. It says that she is sure I will find it helpful and she hopes that people in my new job will welcome me like I have welcomed her.

I'd give this the attention it deserves... none. Take it to a charity shop, chuck it in the recycling and forget about it. She sounds misguided at best!

Honestly if she is a Mormon and gave you that book she might be doing it from a kind place. Maybe she has read it and it helped her. If she has noticed that you have been having some relationship difficulties and wants to give you back some power over the situations you find yourself in maybe she thinks this might help you. My instinct is that she is being kind to you could you see it that way?

I think I'd just take the moral high ground and fail to give her the reaction she expects. Clearly it was a jibe - what a cowardly and nasty person.

I should think a breezy "Thanks so much for the kind gift - and best wishes for a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year" would completely deflate her - and you keep your dignity. Win/Win.

she hopes that people in my new job will welcome me like I have welcomed her.

Are you moving job?

Or just tell her to fuck off and save yourself the money.

Post her the book 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a Fuck'.

Wow. There is a note in it. It says that she is sure I will find it helpful and she hopes that people in my new job will welcome me like I have welcomed her

How much communication have you had with her?

So it was your last day today and you are not going back? I don't know, I think this is just a clumsy attempt at being nice and giving you a self help type book in a positive way to help you in your new job. Or maybe I am just stunningly naive..

It might be well-meant even though it is inappropriate? I think I would just put it out for recycling and leave it at that.

Really Lino? I'm not sure that calling someone out about a 40 year old ruling is particularly clever. I'm catholic and we still don't allow female priests. It doesn't take away from my faith.

I've never had a Catholic try to convert me. I've had plenty of Mormons try. Referring to the recent history of their church might not be 'clever' but it's certainly pretty relevant to the discussion that they invariably start. Plus their response is always entertaining.

Lol, I once had a self- help leadership book called ‘trust’ given to me by an ex boss.

She was super paranoid, but I liked her, had no issue with her and had never been negative towards or about her