Narcissistic mother?I'm so bloody angry

[whatisforteamum]

Df died three months ago.He was very I'll with cancer everywhere and had a dreadful death.
I rallied to help DM obviously so did my dh.She has had an awful time with heating playing up for a month and no income as yet.My sil
blings have kept away too.
Due to starting a new job I've been doing loads of hours with no support for the fact df died.
Last night after a gruelling 13/4 hour day I look at Facebook to find a pic stating this is where df is scattered!!!!
What the actual.....DM had mentioned going alone to scatter him.No mention to me lately.Even worse she took one dsis and didn't tell the other four of us until we saw it.well she hasn't spoken to us.
My DM is always one to put the cat among the pigeons but this is way too far.
I know she is grieving however dsis said should we be told and DM said they will ring when they find out!!
I'm beyond angry that relative strangers knew where df was before I did so are my siblings.Am I in the wrong here?

That is very insensitive of her.

Once you calm down you need to talk to her about it. I know she is grieving to but that just isn't right. It is not the way to tell people.

Sorry for your loss x

Sorry for your loss OP your Mum is totally out of order.

That's really hurtful. Yes he was her husband, but he was your dad too and you had every right to be involved.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you can now take some time to grieve and put yourself first.

That's awful....bare in mind tho that she probably is not thinking straight right now so go easy on her.....I personally would not say anything this side of Christmas as it would only cause more upset....my DM didn't invite me to my fathers funeral said it was his wishes....I was however invited to burying the ashes.....I will never forgive her

Df was a lovely kind thoughtful man who would do anything for anyone.I actually ache I'm so exhausted. DM always pulls stunts and it is wearing too thin.we are reeling.

Posting this shit on Facebook is the worst kind of attention seeking there is. Especially if family members don't already know.

Total narcissist. #mememe

I wouldn't mind her going alone....she said she would but to take someone she fostered and not her older dcs who live locally is very harsh.Common decency would tell me to inform the other next of kin then by all means post on Facebook.It is such a shock.

I'm already being kept an eye on for depression and anxiety so are three of my siblings.....

I don't know if you are aware of this subreddit, but it's really helpful for people who have been raised by narcissists:

r/raisedbynarcissists

There's lots of support and resources etc.

Thank you all.What a diffence a good nights sleep makes.I've stopped shaking now.This is typical DM.Controlling everything and shocking people is her thing.I have my work to concentrate on and a bench I sit on near my home in the churchyard where I think of my lovely df.:)
There is only so much forgiving I can do for her behaviour.No response is the best way.to act.