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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why did he do it?

8 replies

Workharddreambig · 19/12/2017 18:55

So I was with my boyfriend for just over a year. He had a reputation of cheating before me but they weren’t real mature relationships. As in they were like a week long. I know this should have been a red flag but I was in love with him by the time I found out about it. Anyway he told me everyday I was the one, he wanted to get married, move in together next year etc. Anyway I found out that he’d gone home with a girl after a night out, passed out in her her bed, wet himself and left. She said nothing physical happened. Originally I left him but he worked his way back in (I was vulnerable with ill health and exams coming up). I said that we could get back together once we fixed the problems in our relationship. Anyway in this period he kept telling me how much he loved and missed me, he even tried to buy me an engagement ring. He kept promising me the world. He said that even though we weren’t technically boyfriend and girlfriend that we were exclusive. He kept telling me that if I slept with anyone else he would stop trying to fix things. Anyway obviously I caught him taking a girl home from a night out. So that’s that over. What I don’t understand is why did he try so hard to win me back, just to hurt me again? Why not just let me leave if he was just going to do it again?

OP posts:
PNGirl · 19/12/2017 18:58

A) He sounds like a dick. Wouldn't call you his girlfriend yet didn't want you seeing anyone else. "Exclusive" is American teen drama bollocks. B) He wanted to get you to keep having sex with him.

Insomnibrat · 19/12/2017 18:59

I don't know why men do this but they do, habitually.

He was probably a compulsive liar about other things too. Thrill of the chase?

Justmuddlingalong · 19/12/2017 19:01

But sweetheart he didn't try hard to win you back. He promised you things, 'nearly' bought you an engagement ring and wouldn't call you his girlfriend. You're honestly better off without him. It won't feel like that now, but you'll realise soon that you're worth more than the crumbs he was offering you. Look after yourself. Flowers

Chestnutsroastingaway · 19/12/2017 19:03

Seriously get rid ASAP once a cheater always a cheater end of simple as that.

Any man that respects anyone they are with would not behave like that. Do not let him back in, move on NOW before he can hurt you again

Workharddreambig · 19/12/2017 19:06

He wanted to be together, I was the one that said I didn’t want to get back together until we’d worked through our issues.

OP posts:
Workharddreambig · 19/12/2017 19:07

I have moved on, blocked him on everything except insta where I’ve just unfollowed him so he can see how much better off I am without him.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 19/12/2017 19:48

Good for you! Stay strong.

Pointlessfacts · 19/12/2017 19:57

Keep him blocked, do not cave and do not even consider going back.

I had a bf exactly like yours, when I say exactly.....I mean, I didn't find out he was a serial cheat until I was in too deep (I was pregnant with his child).

How did we split?? He cheated on me Hmm

He will continue to cheat on you, don't give him a second thought

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