Is this normal?

[VeryTemporary000]

Hi I've been questioning some things lately.

Is it normal to give your DW/DH lists of things you want done, then shout/scream at them if something is missed?

Is it normal to push/shove your DH/DW and threaten to break their bones (nose/jaw/wrist) if they're annoying you (by making too much noise doing the dishes?)

Is it normal to throw things at your dw/dh? For not waking up when you want them to.

thank you.

What do you think?

I'm not sure, which is why I'm asking.
I'm sorry if it's a stupid question

Domestic abuse isn't normal, no.

Er, no it's not normal.

No of course it's not normal. It's domestic abuse.

No it's not normal or healthy.

It is a very abusive relationship.

I was in an abusive relationship for years, much like the one you describe.

Am now in a normal, healthy, non abusive relationship and the difference is not even comparable.

Please make plans to leave.

No one deserves to be treated like this.

I was worried you'd say that. Thank you for your inputs.

No, it is not normal.

It seems, though, that it has become your normal, which is why you aren't able to see it from a healthy perspective and for what it is: totally fucked up.

op you don't have to answer if you don't want to....

Are you in this relationship?
Do you want to leave?

There are lots of very knowledgeable people on here who can help if you want

It’s about as far from normal as you can get. The fact that you are asking if it’s normal suggests you’ve been in an abusive relationship for some time. It’s not you it’s him. It’s not normal and you need to get out now

What you've described is very abusive behaviour.
So sorry you don't know that, it must be bad

lana yes and yes, but I'm not in a position to leave. I can't, I can't go into it here but there are legal reasons pertaining to the visa I'm on which is connected to him and I have no way to return home that doesn't mean starving because I have no right to public funds and no way to get a job (I have no qualifications and haven't ever worked) I had an idea to study but because I've spent time overseas don't qualify for help with that either. So I'm stuck here for the foreseeable. I have a plan to leave eventually but it'll take a lot of time. I could get in a bad situation if I give too much information here, I'm sorry. I don't think I should have posted.

Oh and I asked this exact same question once. It’s amazing what you feel is normal when it’s been thrown at you for long enough.

My partner now though shows me what normal actually is and I think he’s awesome

Which country are you in? If it’s UK they have means of helping people on visas etc. At least talk to women’s aid or another domestic abuse charity which can help you with your options.

VeryTemp

I understand.

Even if its slow...get your ducks gradually in a row if and when you can.

Is there anyway you can investigate alternative options without it coming to attention?

Are you totally sure you're not able to get any help?

There are specialist agencies that help with these sorts of situations, if you can search for your specific circumstances with words like "charity" or "help" after.

Im not going to ask you for details.

Stay safe.