Or am I being stupid?
My Father and I have had a lot of issues over the years. They seemed to start when my Mother passed away when I was aged 9.
He was never around much when she was alive but a year or so after her death, he began going out again and came home pissed most nights.
There was just me and my 3 elder brothers.
We had to make our own dinner when we came home because he was working or in the pub. Some nights he would take us to the pub with him where we would sit and play pool and drink coke until we were thrown out. He would sometimes get into fights in front of us and it was just dreadful.
There were a lot of occasions where he would slap me with a belt or grab me by my neck, my brothers were never on the receiving end and still don't speak about it (I dont really talk to them anymore either).
As soon as I turned 16 I moved out and lived in squalor and did not speak to him for a few years but eventually made up with him as I got older. Life is too short and all that business.
Anyway, here comes the recent bit. I live with my girlfriend (I am a gay female and this is relevent). We have been together 5 years, he has met her once (my choice). He thinks I am still going through a phase and refuses to accept that she is a partner, he referes to her as my "playmate". Im 35 ffs.
He is openly homophobic on FB and has told me that "I do accept why you're gay, your last boyfriend was a twat"... "but if any of my sons came home and told me they were gay I would disown them".
I did have one or 2 male partners when I was younger but since the age of 21, only female.
A few weeks ago he asked if I would move in to his house for 2 weeks and dog sit for him to go on holiday.
My first question to him was "what about my girlfriend"? He said she will be fine at our house without me. I said that I didnt want to leave her for 2 weeks, especially to look after a dog that is aggressive (it is, and I am a little scared of him). Plus I have my own dog. They wouldnt be able to stay together so I would have to live apart from DP. Now dont get me wrong, I'm not being awkward and I would be prepared to do it, had he hadnt had such a shitty attitude with me and I have never at any point point blank refused to do this favour, I just aired my concerns.
Few days later I was on FB and saw that he had commented on a post about a couple who had removed their child from a school because a transgender child was attending the same school. He commented that trans children are a result of "poofs and dykes forcing their views on children". I immediately blocked him on whatsapp and FB in anger and didn't speak to him. As far as I am aware he has not tried to contact me.
With Christmas approaching I thought i would message him with my new phone number, no reply. He isn' very tech savvy so put it down to this.
I messaged him this morning on Whatsapp asking when the best day would be to bring his xmas gift, he read it and did not respond.
He has been awful to me through my teen years and after (Calling me fat etc) so why am I so upset? I instigated the original NC so why am I feeling sad. Should I apologise? Or just leave it go.