Whos fault is this?

[xmasstress]

So my husband has a cousin who was supposed to be travelling abroad to see his family for Xmas. He stayed at ours because my husband was supposed to drop him off at the airport. He would have had to set off at 4:30/5am to get to the airport on time (they say two hours before) for the flight at around 7 so his cousin stayed at ours. My husband went out for a few beers with his friends that night too and I did advise him not too go as he had an early start and had to work as well straight after dropping him off but he thought I was being awkward about him going out so he still went. Anyway he came home and him and his cousin were still chatting at midnight and I kept telling my husband to come to bed. He finally did at around 1-2 and I couldn't sleep either because of their loud talking. The morning came and we got up late and my husbands phone went dead and in turn his alarm didn't go off but his cousin only came to wake my husband up at around 6:15 so who's fault was it that he missed his flight? My husbands or his cousins. I'm only asking because I know my husband will end up taking the blame and paying for a new ticket for him as he lost his money from ticket now I presume. We can't afford to replace this ticket.. we month to month as it is and I don't want my husband forking our for a replacement ticket because his cousin ( 33 years old may I add) couldn't sort himself out!

Also I know my husband will
Someone how Blame me for this.. it sounds odd but he will some how try and put some of the blame on me now!

Opinions please !

The cousin is a grown man. Old enough to take responsibility for getting to an airport. The going out, drinking, talking etc are all red herrings. - though tbh your DH's behaviour was stupid.

Do not pay for another ticket.

The cousin should have set his own alarm and woken your husband.

You should not be micro-managing your husband and telling him what to do and when to go to bed.

Your husband is wrong to blame you for any of it.

Cousin obviously. He can set his own alarm for his flight surely?

Bit of both but 100 percent not yours

Was the Cousin drinking also?

He should have set his own alarm

Did the cousin rely on your DH's alarm? It's definitely his fault. Not your DH's and absolutely not yours. If he tries to pin the blame on you, he is a prize prick.

Cousins fault. He should have set his own alarm then woken your DH when he realised he was still asleep.

No way would I pay for a new ticket! Your DH was doing him a favour!

Thanks everyone

His cousin wasn't drinking no. His cousin hasn't lived her long. He has lived in another EU country with his wife but cane over here to work ( another story entirely!) so was going back for Xmas to see them. His cousin didn't get up until 6:15. I'm not sure he even set his alarm and yes I do think he relied on my husband. He relies on my husband on a lot to be honest. I'm just worried we will be struggling for money now because I know my husband will pay for a new ticket and then lie to me about it.. that's what's making me angry because his cousin isn't a baby and should be responsible for himself!

If the flight was 7am then the cousin was a twat for not getting up until 6.15...his fault entirely

But it's your husbands choice to pay for a new ticket or not. So your problem is with your husband not the cousin.

How on earth is it your fault??

The cousins married? He sounds like he can’t even wipe his own arse, and your dh sounds the same.

If the flight was that important, than the cousin should have been more proactive in getting to the airport. As for the flight he needs to call the airline and sort it himself.

Your dh shouldn’t have to pay for another ticket, cousin can pay for his own.

Cousin's fault. Your DH was an idiot for going out drinking late when he had to be up so early but that's his decision to make. One huge red flag to me, was your husband planning on driving? After finishing drinking a few hours before? He'd have been drunk driving.

Cousin should have set his own alarm unless it was explicitly agreed your husband would wake him up (say if he didn't have his own alarm or a way to charge a dead phone). If I had a flight to catch I'd have set an alarm!

Husband sounds very irresponsible but given that cousin didn't take any responsibility for his own actions here when it's his flight, I'd say the onus should be on cousin to buy the new ticket. But if your husband feels responsible (maybe knows something we don't, like he promised he'd wake cousin so cousin didn't bother with an alarm?) and wants to pay for the ticket make sure he does it out if his own money and not shared money!

Well it sounds like your fault to me, after all you are a woman and you should have woken them both up, on time, with a nice cup of tea.

His flight, his responsibility. 100%

This is all a big red herring.
Your DH lies to you.
Your DH blames you when you are totally blameless.
Anything else you need to tell us about this 'delightful' DH of yours?

100% the cousin's. As an adult he's responsible for waking himself up to catch a flight. Dick .

Whose fault is it?

NOT YOURS

So, don't worry about who pays for the ticket - as long as it isn't you/family budget.

If your DH decides to pay for the ticket, that has to impact on him alone. Does he have personal spending money? Or do a hobby that he could give up until the money from the ticket is covered? Or pick up extra shifts at work?

But I have a feeling that the issues are much deeper than this one instance - what do you mean he will find a way to blame you?

I would say it's the cousin's. He's a grown man who should be able to set an alarm so he gets up in time to sort a ride to the airport. Never mind that your dh could have been more helpful in this situation too. It's not ultimately his responsibility unless his cousin was banging at your bedroom door from 4:30am and your dh refused to get out of bed and take him. We often have my family stay with us (they live overseas) and I get up similarly early to make sure they are off on the train to get to the airport. I always set my alarm and am very conscious of getting up on time (frankly, don't want to be stuck with them longer than necessary!), but no one sees it as my job to wake them up. They set their own alarms and are already up and dressed and ready to go when I come downstairs to take them.

Just as the cousin is a grown man who should set his own alarm, your husband is a grown man who shouldn't be told by you when to go to bed.

It is the cousin's fault.

But the real issue here is you knowing your husband will blame you, and him spending money you don't have.

Forget the flight, and deal with those issues.

I understand why you try to micromanage your H but in doing so, you perpetuate the cycle of his twattery. Funny how you complain about your H's cousin relying on your H and there's your H being managed by his wife.

God your H sounds like a child. They were both at fault but because your H is an irresponsible coward you will literally have to pay the price, I really do not understand what you see in such childishness.