Will try not to dripfeed.
Had some problems with ex and DC this year. He didn't see them for a month (their choice) as he hurt the youngest and a health professional wanted to report his behaviour to social services. Youngest dc has been seeing him a bit since then, her choice, a few hours a week. Middle dc not much at all (her choice). Neither have stayed with him since late summer.
Two weeks ago he sent his Christmas wishes in terms of seeing them. I had discussed with DC when they would want to see him and youngest said she didn't mind as long as she could be here for Xmas eve and morning (she still believes in FC). In his email he just asked for two hours on Christmas morning. That's all for the entire Christmas period. I was hurt for them but they were pleased with this and we went ahead and started making plans.
Late last night I got a text saying he wants to have them Christmas Eve until lunchtime Christmas Day. And another load of days. Now reasonably I can see his point in that I had them last Christmas Eve, they then went to his until Boxing Day.
But they don't want to go (especially with such little warning), he will fuck up the whole FC thing (if not deliberately then by being careless because he doesn't really enjoy Christmas). The whole demanding to have them smacks of him wanting control and they haven't even stayed with him for months. Christmas is "my" thing and he knows that.
I've said no (because they don't want to) but fully expect it will escalate. Legally we don't have a court order over this kind of thing and as much as I feel sad for him being alone over Christmas I just feel he's dropped this on them at the last minute and now really upset them.
To avoid drip feeding middle DC is mentally pretty unwell, being with him makes her worse.