What is appropriate to say in a message to a depressed friend?

[bzz7]

I have spent most of my life away from the UK, so certain habits and words sometimes get me into trouble. I would appreciate any advice on how to write a nice Christmas card message that won't make someone uncomfortable.

A few months ago, a younger male coworker revealed a serious problem with depression. There's nothing going on between us (he is gay), but he is a lovely guy and we have been spending a lot of time together. At first I just wanted to be supportive, but now feel very affectionately towards him. He has made a huge effort to deal with his problem and is an excellent friend.

I would usually assume that a young guy wouldn't be open to hearing an acknowledgment of this sort of thing, but this guy has specifically said that he feels isolated, always has, and that certain nice things people have said have really stuck with him. He has a poor image of his looks and work performance and social skills despite getting into great shape recently, getting into competitive jobs, and making an effort to meet people (all of whom like him). His doctor told him to stick any nice comments to his fridge to cheer him up when he is down.

I bought him a little Christmas gift and would like to write a message in a card to go with it, but can't figure out where the line is between being honest and supportive versus inappropriate. I also don't want to add to his pressure by overly praising/mentioning his new body/fitness or work progress. He is a classic stiff upper lip sort of English guy, so I have no idea what is OK. I finally settled on something very brief like the below, but it sounds a little cold. If someone could let me know how this might come across and what I could add that wouldn't be creepy, I'd be very grateful.

"You have come so far over the past few months and I hope you're very proud of your progress. Thank you for being great company."

What a lovely thought and so glad to hear he has been able to make such huge changes in his life. I agree that short is best, but yes it does sound a little cold, especially the bit about being good company. There nothing wrong with acknowledging your friendship.

I often think this time of year is a good time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future, so you could tie in with something like:

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year 2018. What a year 2017 has been for you, you must be so proud of yourself and all you have achieved. I hope that 2018 brings you [insert something more personal] and look forward to sharing more fun and friendship in the year ahead

OP - your friend is aware that you are not the ‘stiff upper lip’ type.
And I think it’s possibly why he felt OK to open up to you. He didn’t need to pretend in front of you and maintain appearances.

So - if I were you - i’d just write whatever it was that you wanted to say. And not double-guess yourself. If you want to praise him - just do that.
He’ll know it comes from a good friend and is honest. And the only effect it will have is to make him happy.

Thanks a lot, Fruitboxjury, your suggestions sound much warmer. And that's a great point, Josuk. I guess I can go a little warmer without it striking him as strange.