Hi ladies, I need some advice.
It’s a rather long story and series of events so I’ll keep it brief.
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 7 years ( we split for 9 months last year) we decided to get back together in June 2017. Although we don’t have any kids together the both of us have children from separate relationships. Anyway, throughout our relationship there were problems and arguments which resulted in the children being affected. Again, to cut a long story short he’s always been unable to forgive my part in the arguments even though my relationship with his youngest daughter has gone from strength to strength and she has always considered me as her Mum which I have done my best to be, she has a close relationship with my daughter as well.
In July, we sat down together and decided to have a fresh start, planned our baby (who is now due in April 18) and talked and agreed to get engaged. Since July we have been happy, looking forward to being a real family and a life together, there were disagreements of course but none on the level of years past. I believed he had forgiven my part in arguments past and we were on the way to becoming parents together and a fresh start. Although we’ve had disagreements we’ve been able to diffuse arguments and apologise and move on, as normal couples do.
Unfortunately he’s just told me that I was a mistake, the baby wasn’t planned as he was suffering depression from berevement and a situation with his eldest daughter, he hasn’t been in contact for roughly a month throughout my pregnancy, despite me sendin him the baby’s first kicks and how she’s developing. Even after this, I’ve received nothing. He still blames me for the past 7 years which I believed had been dealt with, I’d have not have agreed to have a baby with a man who hadn’t forgiven me should I have known.
I just feel like for the past 6 months I’ve been fooled into believing something that wasn’t true. I’ve done a real lot for the guy and his children and now I’ve basically been left with all the blame again, alone and pregnant.
My question is, why if he hadn’t forgiven the past and still blamed me did he decide to have a baby with me? He know says I was a mistake (after 7 years) and she was conceived out of depression and the past 6 months he’s been depressed. I genuinely believed in something different and feel really foolish for thinking we were on the way to being a family.
I’m now left with 0 trust for him.
Any advice? Sorry to drag on!