When did you know you wanted kids?

[Emilyxeliza]

...just that really? Me and my partner have been together 4 years.. share commitments and finances, live together. He won’t talk about having kids though, he just says he is unsure about having them.

Is this normal? We are late 20’s and I already have fertility problems too.

I always knew I never wanted children. From a very young age I had absolutely no feelings about children, other than vague disgust and annoyance. Plus from about the age of 15, environmental concerns regarding the expansion of the human population.

I discussed it with my now DH on our first date. There's no way I could have even thought of beginning a relationship with a man who might have wanted them.

It was lovely, I knew he was the one for me when he was the first to bring up the stats on the human population being either already past or very close to passing the planet's carrying capacity as his reasoning for being childfree.

LondonHerbivore - brilliant that you were both on the same page straight away, especially for the exact same reasons!

Thanks, it was amazing.

I'd had this horrible run of meeting lovely, but broody, men and having to reject them at the 1st or 2nd date for that reason.

So when he brought up the numbers of population capacity first, I nearly collapsed and knew I had to hold onto him.

We established we both wanted children before we even got together ( we was seeing eachother)

I guess was an easier conversation as i already have a daughter so we wasnt getting into a new childless relationship
He was kind of stepping into a father role anyway so we discussed prospects of having children in the future we waited 2 &9 months to start trying though

I always knew I didn't.....and then I hit 40 and has a complete meltdown over whether it was a life experience I would regret missing out on. DP of 6 years didn't want any either. Anyway thanks to my '40 crisis' we decided to just go for it and if it happened it was meant to be and if it didn't it wasn't so I had no need to regret not trying.

I'm now 44 and have a 1 year old and a 2 year old....I guess it was meant to be :)

OH told me very early on that he wanted children, but I didn't, i just really wasn't bothered for them, then when we'd been together 10 months, I was 22 & we found out we were 10 weeks pregnant, (I was on the pill & taking it religiously!) OH was over the moon, so we had ds, I struggled with him & really think I had undiagnosed pnd. I hated the idea of ds being an only child though, so when he was 2, we tried for another baby, & dd1 was born when ds was 2yrs 9 months, I still didn't feel the 'rush of love' that everyone talks about, but I bonded with dd1 more, then when she was 3, I said to OH about having one more (we're both from families of 3 children) dd2 was born when dd1 was 3yrs 9 months, & she was an emcs due to prolapsed cord & her very nearly dying, all I can remember thinking as I was being wheeled away was 'please save my baby!' & when I first met her, I felt that love instantly!

I love all of my dc with all of my heart & I wouldn't change a thing about having any of them & I know I over compensate with ds for not feeling how I should have for the first few months of his life, but I love them all equally & am so glad that I accidentally fell pregnant with ds!
(Sorry, I know you didn't ask for all of that info, but I've never told anybody all of that & it just kind of came out!)

Teenybean - oh no no that’s ok, I love to see everyone’s stories, kids or no kids! Lovely to hear that things worked out well for you all in the end, I know lots of people that didn’t initially bond with their babies straight away and they felt like it was a taboo subject, so I’m glad you’ve felt happy to share this!

Ivehadtonamechange - aww! What a great ending! Pleased it was meant to be for you both!

Dh and I had been together nearly 10 years before deciding to have children. We we're both a bit unsure as we enjoyed our free single life, however we both knew that we were not committed to the idea of not having children.

DD is now 10 months, the light of our lives, and dad is due in April :)

Ds not dad!

We never had this conversation for the first 10 years at all, we got married and still never spoke about it.

I was nonplused whether kids happened or not, so there was no pressure from my POV. We have 2 now, DH said he wanted them and the time seemed right.

The moment I finished my degree it was already on my mind. I've always wanted a family and kids to call my own. It was always my dream :)

I've been with my fiancé almost 6 years (on the 29th if Dec) we have a 9 week old baby girl. We both have always wanted children, we want 2 children. We waiting until we bought a house. He proposed to me on Christmas Day 2016, we started planning the wedding immediately. I bought my wedding dress in January then found out I was pregnant in the February.

Good luck talking to him about future plans.

I kinda always wanted to have whole brood of my own, coming from close-knit family. Dreamed of 5 kids and child/motherhood psychology always seemed like fascinating topic. I knew the kids were horribly hard work too and I sometimes questioned if I really had patience for all the stressful bits. I liked my freedom too much too.

My husband was on same page before we married.

Now 3 kids..and counting.