Just don't know how I can help things anymore

[choochie]

DP and I are due to marry in 6 weeks time abroad.

Just over a year ago now I had a friendship with a guy I used to go to school with, we walked to school together and got to be good friends, I never dreamed of telling DP about it because he is quite jealous and possessive and I just knew he wouldn't understand. Anyway the big holidays came and I gave this man my number so we could meet up one day for a chat in the park with the kids (as it was just chat nothing more). He was having problems with his wife and I think I was his shoulder to cry on, anyway we texted each other a few times just as friends and one day when he was especially down I said he could come and meet me at lunch time and we could have a chat. Anyway DP found this text and he hit the roof!!! He told this guy's wife and pandemonium began!!! It was a really horrible time (although deserved I know) but then we sorted things out and DP and I decided that we really loved each other and wanted to work this out and so we started to make plans to marry.

DP has always been so troubled and emotional before it happened but for about 2 months now he has become more and more moody and withdrawn and I know I haven't been brill as I have had very bad PMT but last night things came to a head when DP had been drinking and he basically said he was still torn apart by what I did and kept asking why I felt the need to be a friend to another man?

After hours of arguing, talking and crying we went to bed but I really don't see how we can marry now, he doesn't trust me at all in any sense of the word and I just feel so utterly empty of hope for our future now.

So sorry for it being so long.....

Another thing, he would not cope without me and the kids, he's so emotionally unstable that I really believe he could do something to himself and I do not want my kids to be put through that or me for that matter as I do love him a lot.

CHoochie: Is it really good for your kids to live with someone 'emotionally unstable'? Ie a whining, manipulative, selfish pillock? Because people like that are hell to live with. Your kids grow up miserable because they have to subjugate everything to Daddy's moods, tantrums, hurt feelings and flouncings. If they're happy but he's not, because he stubbed his toe or his footy team lost or his hairline receded another millimetre or whatever, they they rapidly learn they have to shut up about their joys, hobbies and interests because Daddy will burst into tears and run out of the room - or shout at them, or belittle them.

Becasue if he can't treat you in a civil, friendly fashion, he won't be able to treat the DCs properly either. Insecure selfish people invariably end up insisiting that everyone around them caters to their moods first and foremost. And it's not great for them to see you suffer, either - especially if you have dds. Do you really want to teach them that women's lives, needs and feelings come second to an irrational, needy man's whims? Or that any relationship is better than no relationship?

Only read the OP but Choochie your DP sounds like a childish little boy not a grown man.
Why should you not be allowed to talk to someone of the opposite sex?

I am sick of people that think if you talk to someone of the opposite sex then you must be shagging them, or wanting to shag them .

I used to talk to one of the dads on the school run and his wife found out and kicked off big time (sent my DP a text asking if I was sleeping with her husband.)
I had no idea he had not told her we talked, as my DP knew and had met the bloke and fixed his P for him.
I told hm tell his silly wife to go on a diet and get her hair done if she was so paranoid about every other woman he spoke to.

I think you need to deal with this before you get married, does he expect you to never speak to another man ever?
I think he needs some sort of help if he is so insecure that he sees every one as a threat to him. Also your DP is as childish as the bloke I talked to wife sending texts and causing trouble where there is no need to.Also your friends wife seems a stupid woman if she got worked up that you and her husband spoke to each other.
God what a lot of saddo's with no live there is out there.

Fixed his PC