Sorry this is long. If you read it all or even understand me as I’m not sure I understand myself then thank you.
Been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and it’s not going well. I think that we should break up and have for a while but he doesn’t agree.
On the outside, people think we are a great couple, suited for each other perfectly. My parents like him, his parents like me, there aren’t any issues there. He buys me presents and shows me love and affection in front of people, so they think he’s great.
Not sure if I’m just the problem. It was great to begin with, even before we properly got together we would have days out and have a lot of fun. I enjoyed spending time with him and gradually felt more for him. But in the last few months it hasn’t gone very well. I feel like we are already in a routine, it’s boring, we rarely have sex anymore maybe once a week. I try for more and he isn’t that interested or finds an excuse for why we can’t. We don’t live together yet, but he spends most of his time at mine which essentially it is living together.
He seems to want to change me too. He clearly doesn’t like the fact I don’t drink. I have my reasons for this that he knows, yet of we go out which isnt often, he’ll try to persuade me to drink, which just pisses me off when he knows why. I ask him why he has a problem, and he says he doesn’t, that I am better than him because I don’t drink or smoke and have never done drugs, but then why pressure me to drink if he thinks that? It’s clearly a lie.
And then he backed that up by not inviting me to a night out he got invited to because ‘but it’s going out to pubs and clubs, you wouldn’t like it’. Don’t have to drink to do that, plus I would have liked to have met his friends as I’ve only met 1 of them. He tried to back track and invite me, but felt a bit forced by this point so I didn’t go.
I do try to take an interest in his interests. I play video games with him, and I did ask if I could come to watch him play pool with his club, but he told me the other guys don’t like people bringing their girlfriends. Fair enough, but I then get told that one of them brings his girlfriend most weeks? What am I meant to think of that?
Sometimes I do wonder if it’s just my implant making me feel this way, as I felt fine at the beginning when I didn’t have it. I got it put in before we got together and everything seemed fine but lately I just feel down and depressed about our relationship. He rarely makes me happy anymore, I’m more annoyed with him because all he wants to do is play games. He’s not interested in much else and the other things he is I’m not welcome at. He has little empathy for the fact I have had a traumatic experience in my life too, actually one time putting on a film that featured a similar experience for someone else. I told him to stop the film before it got too into it, but it’s still not great that he ‘forgot’ that the scene was there, so he claims. It made me cry seeing it on screen and he didn’t care about that either because he was already annoyed with me for something else.
Everything tells me I should break up with him and I have tried in the past but he always talks me out of it and says he’ll change and be more loving and kind. Most he’s done is stopped prodding me which he used to do and it left bruises on me. Otherwise nothing has changed. I have asked him before if I am just a rebound from his ex as we got together not long after they split up and it was a long relationship but he says not.
Is it just me? Could it be my implant making me feel this way? I have had it before and I felt like it way changing me, but I was in a very bad relationship at the time so wasn’t sure if it was that or not.