Advice needed!

[Marnie80]

So my husband shared a hotel room bed last week with a gay man he didn’t know , nothing happened I truly believe that he thought I’d find it funny and I would had it have been one of our mutual straight male friends .. I mean bunking up and splitting the bill I’d be ok with but this was a random man , and he stayed all night and the guy did try it on so much so he kicked him out
I feel repulsed by the situation and somewhat betrayed we haven’t had a conversation about it as I can’t look at him
Am I being over dramatic or am I right in feeling this is completely weird and wrong! Please help and feedback welcome !

What were the circumstances this happened ? I can't imagine one that makes this anything to find funny.

How did he come to be sharing a hotel room with a random stranger?

An office party night out ,but the guy was grim elsewhere.. he was staying out anyway I spoke with him the following morning and he said I’ve a man in my bed I was assumed it was his boss who’d mentioned he may just stay at the hotel with him we’ve known him years and I’d assume they’d just sit and drink all night then crash.. he put the guy on the phone and I just flipped at this point he starts trying to make a move and my husband kicks him out he admits it’s weird but seems to feel it’s a joke that backfired we have 2 children together and for the first time in 13 years I’m questioning my relationship

Sorry typo mistakes he was from elsewhere not grim 😂

I darent even tell my friend I’m so embarrassed and feel psychically sick am I overreacting?

Completely bizarre!! I can’t get my head round it .. I know he’s not done anything sexual or anything but I feel he’s betrayed still? I mean how would he feel if I shared a bed with another man or woman ? My mum / cousin and bet friend being an exception, he thinks I’m silly for thinking he would do anything but he’s not realising that’s not the issue !

He, and this situation, sound quite ridiculous

Your right it is ridiculous! But like I said I’m just looking for some clarification that I’m right in being completely repulsed by the situation and I’m not being over dramatic

I think repulsed is a bit strong, the man is gay but your husband isn’t so I’m not sure that it’s an issue, your husband kicked him out when he tried it on. What is your actual concern? I mean it’s not ideal to be sharing a hotel room with a stranger but i think focusing on his sexuality isn’t really that relevant.

Thank you! I’ve never had any reason to not trust him we’ve had a great relationship for 13 years .. I just can’t get my head round at what point did it seem a good idea to invite this guy back to his room!? And then think I’d be ok with it!? We need to sit down and he needs to tell me exactly what happened but honestly I don’t think I can just get over it that’s for sure!

It’s not about the mans sexuality, it’s the fact he shared a bed with a complete stranger and that stranger clearly believed that he was up for it .. and why wouldn’t he when a man invites you to his hotel room? I’m repulsed by the fact he thought I’d find it funny and he doesn’t see he’s done wrong

I don't think I believe that your husband didn't reciprocate tbh.

I don’t think I’m 100% sure myself 😪

Did he call you to tell you or did you ring him and find out? I’m confused as to why he would invite a gay stranger to his room if he wasn’t looking for an encounter but if that was the case surely he would hide it from you?

I am guessing your dh thought it was what he wanted at the time - ie when he was drunk, maybe in the cold light of day he regretted it - whether 'it' was sex or just the idea only you will know when he gets home likely by his behaviour /mannerisms.

Has your husband ever given you reason to think he might be gay?

The whole thing is bizarre

So much can be hidden in plain sight. Why on earth did he put this stranger on the phone to you? What did he say?!