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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend sending kisses to ex wife

9 replies

sunshiney78 · 15/12/2017 08:22

Hello. My boyfriend of 3 months were chatting about random things over dinner last night, and he mentioned that he sends “x”’s in text messages to his ex wife.

Just to clarify, He doesn’t do this to everyone, just her and me Hmm. Divorced 4 yrs ago, they have 2 DC. He said he started doing it when his dad passed away 18 months ago.

He is very close to his family, which is great for the kids. Spends loads of time with them, eats with them once a week & spending Xmas eve staying over at their’s. I’m just wondering whether another woman in his life would be a “gap filler” and if it’s no big deal that he ends all text messages to his exw with a kiss.

OP posts:
user21 · 15/12/2017 08:29

The kiss wouldn’t bother me but the other things may do.

ThisLittleKitty · 15/12/2017 11:28

Staying over Xmas eve would bother me more than the kisses. Are you sure they've actually broken up?

donners312 · 15/12/2017 12:24

I would prefer a BF who was nice to his x wife. Instead of an arsehole.
As long as he was nice to me.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 15/12/2017 12:28

The fact the he is still friendly and affectionate with his ex could show that he is just a decent bloke who respects the mother of his children and has worked to maintain a good relationship with her.
Or it could be that he's not entirely over her and is not fully available to have a relationship with you...

The "x" thing on its own would not bother me but the other stuff might. It's a tricky one to call, especially at only 3 months in. What's your gut feeling? Has he had any other relationships since his divorce? What happened with those?

Louiseandhercubs · 15/12/2017 12:31

I think it's a tough one. Because I send "x" to most people on email and text. Hell I've even emailed my daughters teacher and ended it with x. It just becomes a habit.

DownTheChimney · 15/12/2017 12:58

My dh was like this to his ex-wife at the start of our relationship, he used to spend a lot of time at hers Hmm. I was incredibly jealous and wondered if anything was going on. It wasn't, he was trying to make the transition as easy as possible for the dc.
It's early days yet, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and not worry too much. The fact he told you he puts a x is a good thing, no?

Viviennemary · 15/12/2017 13:02

No I wouldn't like this very much. The kisses thing isn't much but they do still seem very much of a family together. Still I suppose it's early days for you yet after only three months. Not sure I'd be happy with this set-up.

Pinkpillows · 15/12/2017 13:17

He will always love the mother of his children, any decent man will

Not every time do ex's need to be at war

FizzyGreenWater · 15/12/2017 13:36

General affection, respect good. At this stage of your relationship, kisses ok but should (especially if you are not happy with it) come to a respectful end at some point.

Staying over - not good at all and no way would I stay in the relationship. They're not done with disentangling themselves yet, and I'd be politely bowing out and telling him to get in touch when he was completely free.

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