Husband flounced because I was pissed off.

[JustVent]

The kids had an arguement. It was difficult to sort, I could see both sides and it escalated into bed time. The kids come to me usually, DH tried to help, it did precisely fuck all and that’s for another thread.
DS2 (6) was in bed and got out several tiles crying because he was angry about what happened. There’s screaming, shouting, slamming doors. I had to raise my voice, threat to take things away and negotiate the fall out between the kids before it settled. No doubt Mumsnet will rip apart my parenting, the way I dealt with things - more so because I’ve been very loose on the info I’ve given and will pick up on the fact that I handled it rather than DH.

But for the posters who will see past that, please can you see my AIBU here -
After the youngest ‘settled’ DH came in and said ‘I think he’s asleep’. This is after him being the front room and me dealing with the screaming, shouting, slamming, negotiations and threats.

I was still frowning and wound up from the events and I vented. Something along the lines of the kids being shits and I was pissed off.
He huffed and quite literally flounced the corner to exit the room and yanked the door open to leave in a dramatic way.

I said “are you kidding me?”

He said I was having a go at him. I was incredulous. Asked him how so?
He said it “wasn’t what I said but how I said it”
I said I was fucked off with the kids, am
I not allowed to vent to my husband?

He said “can you warn me then?”

This is where I might be unreasonable but...
‘warn him’?!
As though the screaming and tantruming of his son and me trying to sort it out wasn’t warning enough?!

He flounced anyway. Whatever it is he expects, I’m doing it all wrong.

YANBU

Nice of him to swan in at the end credits.

Op, would you accept your husband venting at you. I’m sure a man who said he was venting at his wife would be torn to shreds.

It sounds like there is a lot of anger in your house,it’s unsurprising the children play up if this is the example you set them. I think you need to have anger management counselling.

Parenting is hard.

But there does sound like a lot of anger in your house, and that does include you and your DH.

Personally I think you need a break and unwind. Then you (and ideally DH) need a rethink as what is happening now isn't working.
At similar times in your family we have had a "family meeting" and one or other of the DC have often come up with great ideas for a different approach. Do remember what works for one family might not work for yours.

What, so I'm not allowed to shout 'bloody thing!' when the hoover once more refuses to pick up so much as a strand of fluff

That's not venting; it's an exclamation - and you said yourself you tend to "go on a bit"; so it sounded a lot more than that.

But no, I wasn't saying you shouldn't. I was just explaining why some people will struggle with this as a concept; and asking if it actually helps you. I don't think I'd find it productive at all.

If you do, by all means carry on, as should OP.

I dunno. Your op isn't very clear. If you were literally just 'venting' about the kids behaviour, then why all the information about how useless your dh was and how he came in after you'd dealt with everything? I 'vent' to my dh sometimes when he comes in from work and I've had a torrid time with the kids but he hasn't ever taken it personally because it's clearly all about the kids behaviour.

It sounds like you were pretty pissed off with your dh too and therefore some of your venting was aimed at him. Instead of the faux incredulity at him feeling like you're having a go, you should own it and be honest. HE had pissed you off too, not just the kids.

I was pissed off with DH! Because he flounced! I wasn’t the slightest bit annoyed with him before hand. I was annoyed because he made it about him, he made himself the victim when all I wanted to do was tell him that the kids had been fudging hard work and giving me grief and tantruming at me.

And I genuinely LOL’d about the need for anger counselling 😝😝😝

One bad evening that went south and we need counselling?
DS was knackered and annoyed with his brother, it was nearly bed time and he had a meltdown. It happens. Unfortunately I’m not permemantly dosed up on Valium so after the fourth time of him getting out of bed and screaming at me (this was after the pre bed time tantrum) it started to get to me and I started to get annoyed.

I was pissed off with DH! Because he flounced!
I know what you mean.

I don't have a DP at the moment but I know what you mean.

You do n’t think having a 6 year old who screams, shouts, slams doors and can’t be calmed down is not a problem ?

That is one angry child please ask yourself, where does this anger come from.

Northernparent have you heard of tantrums? Children have them. It’s pretty normal part of childhood. Thankfully they grow out of them and they are few and far between these days.

here is the word ‘tantrum’ in the dictionary to help you out.