I just sent a message to a guy I've been seeing for months. Kind of a friends with benefits but a bit more than that. It was complicated as I just left a long emotionally abusive relationship. He isn't a guy that wants to settle down, he was perfect for a time, I had the best sex of my life. He is honest, patient but doesn't talk about feelings. It could have developed had he expressed himself better but he didn't.
i was happy the way things were but on Monday he sent me a message to tell me that he met someone at a party, and he liked her and was conflicted what to do. I told him to take some space. In the meantime, I gathered all the wisdom from friends and Mumsnet (high five) and decided I don't want to be a second option. So I made the decision for him, gracefully bowed out, thanked him for the good times.
I had a cry, then laughed, then danced around my living room listening to Aretha and repeated to myself I am a high value woman!
In the last 10 months I have come on massively, I know I don't need a man to complete me anymore. I am going to take time for myself and the kids and focus on my new house. If someone comes along I know what I want: a communicative man, who is hot in the bedroom, who will take an interest in me (not just my body).
So thanks mumsnet :) :) :)